My Whole Self - Not your average book

Part 2

Today is the 9th of June 2018. These past two years have easily been the worst and best two years of my life. To explain.
Almost two years ago my childhood dog died, this was especially heartbreaking for me because she was there through everything. When all the human friends left me and it felt like the world didn't care, my dog was there. And then suddenly she wasn't. This was in September, over a year ago but not quite two years ago. She went to the vet on the backseat of the car next to me, looking sick and weak but yet still smiling, and came home on that same seat next to me in a body bag. It was heart breaking.

Skip forward exactly one year after she died, September is here. First a few months before one of my rabbits died, then another. September comes and my favourite rabbit has a seizure and dies in my arms. I know your not supposed to have favourites but like I said this is the truth. Couple days later my mouse died. Few more days pass and one of my rats died. At this point I should have known that bad things come in threes. A specific date that I won't say due to not wanting to expose who I am, rolls around. Happy day, good day overall. My mum, dad and I watch a movie. Ironically called "Alexander and the terrible, horrible, not good, very bad day". The movie finishes and Mum gets a call. Something was wrong, she was crying. She says that my Uncle (her brother) has died. Now for many this may not make sense as to why I would be so distraught over an uncle. This Uncle, was my best friend. I had grown up with him in my life so much. My dad was always working which is not his fault. So my uncle became like a second dad to me. But I never got to tell him that. We went to theme parks together, he even took me on my first holiday. And the next three after that. He was always there if I needed to talk. I helped carry his coffin. He would have been proud of me for wearing 6 inch heels and carrying a coffin. I wrote a nice speech thing for him too. I buried my best friend and second dad on that day.

He was the first person I have ever lost. It's hard to feel emotions when thinking about his death, I don't know whether I'm angry, heartbroken or just plain devastated. His death was preventable, I won't say how but it was preventable on his part. And I can't help think how selfish he was to leave me here without saying goodbye, or letting me tell him all the things I needed him to hear. I never got to tell him how much he meant to me, and how much I was grateful for him being there through everything. I never got to tell him any of that.

Fast forward back to today. I wish he was here to talk me out of my stress and tell me it's going to be okay. Mum knows I stress a lot, I can see the impact it has on her dealing with me stressing everyday. I wish I could make it stop.