What Lies Beneath

Chapter Four

Chapter 4

Senior Year

Welcome Back! reads the sign above the main office at our school, expecting everyone to smile every time they see it; I stare and hate on it. My school lives in a giant ass bubble and I happen to be the one person that everyone has at their school, the one everyone looks at and has heard stories of but doesn't dare to talk to. How does that happen so fast?

I think about how much better my junior year was as I head toward my first period class. Everyone stares over their shoulder, wanting to catch another glimpse of me before I make another stupid move.

The only one who does not stare, the one who refuses to stare, is Alicia. I should've seen this coming, her ultimate high school personality arise from the ashes. I hear stories all the time of the girl who dated him all the time, how she makes herself some kind of hero for "surviving" between the two of us. The things I hear her say around the halls mostly consists of our relationship being too hard on me, and how she had to be the strong one while she was going through a rough time.

I'm aghast when I heard these stories floating between these walls, how much lying she had done to ruin me. I used to get worked up about the rumors but there's no use.

I put my headphones in and turn on my iPod to a point where I can't even hear my own breathing and my hood over my head makes everyone disappear. This is what my days consist of, going from point A to point B. There is no other way of thinking right now, no other way to function.

"Hi!" I hear in a distance. I ignore it at first, but it did not stop there. "Whatcha listening to?"

I pull out my right headphone to find a boy talking directly to me.

"Hi, sorry I couldn't hear you."

"No big deal, so I heard what happened last year, are you feeling alright?" he asks, diving right into the deep end of the pool.

"Oh, um yeah I'm alright."

"So what happened?" he pushes.

I let out a deep breath, hoping he can see I'm really not in the mood.

But he pays no attention to it, great.

"My mom's sick and I moved, nothing really that interesting."

"Oh, well alright. I'm sorry to hear that especially on the first day! Is she doing alright?" he asks.

"I guess, she's conscious but keeps slipping away."

"Well I hope she gets better, I'm sure she will," he says sympathetically. It sounds like he actually cares, unlike everyone else who enjoys the scene but not the details of the accident.

The morning bell rings and the remaining students tumble into the classroom seconds after.

"Well, I'll talk to you later," he says and goes to his assigned seat.

When Mrs. Arnett walks in I notice that she keeps glancing at me. Every once in a while I will catch her but she doesn't have to say anything. Her look of remorse toward me makes me realize the truth - she knows, as does the rest of the staff. I'm probably their conversation starter during lunch and that makes me sick.

I sink deeper into my seat and stare at the clock. What a great way to start the year with some of the most wonderful people that hate me. I can feel their vibe of constant annoyance thrown my way, whether it's the first day I come back to school or the last day.

Last year, a hard year to look back on, I had missed a few weeks of school just before school was supposed to end. When I tried coming back, there were too many questions thrown my way, too much for me to handle. I threw desks and chairs at people and they had to call someone in to escort me out. What a shitty way to end the year, right?