Luv Yourself

Chapter 4.

Chapter dedicated to @BodyPositivity !!!

Casual day greets me in the form of a nice autumn day. The nerves hit me not so nice though, and I fear without Bailey here in this room with me, I might chicken out.

I drag myself out of bed and get dressed, not daring to look in my mirror for fear of changing my mind.

On my way to school I am plagued with all sorts of intrusive thoughts,

Is this dress to short? Is there something on my face? Can people see my undies?Do I smell bad? Is it actually even casual day!???

All these thoughts vanish as I find myself at the school gates.

Heartbeat quickening I pause before the doors certain that my first steps through the doors

I think of Bailey take a deep breath and push them open.

Andddddddd......... nothing. A few glances here and there when I first walk in but nothing momentous, everyone else is too worried about themselves to spare me a second glance.

I almost let out a laugh I am completely giddy with relief.

I start to relax, I am feeling good, confident even, wow.

As I turn the corner I see a small crowd circling ahead like a pack of hungry sharks. I don't as a rule participate in drama ever, but for some reason I felt drawn to the crowd.

I move into a space to see what's going on

Not to my surprise Brittney stands in the centre of the crowd looking every bit the the part of the sadistic villain.

I peer around further trying to see her latest victim

It's Patricia Hynes. One of the few people I actually like in this hellhole, she is president on the student newsletter

I wonder what she did to inflict this sort of wrath.

The pair edge closer to me and I still can't hear what Brittney is saying, but Pat flinches with each word she utters.

All of a sudden Brittney gets all up in her face before shoving her roughly to the ground.

I am frozen to the spot this scene painfully familiar.

Everyone scuttles out of the way and no one offers to help her up.

But something about seeing her lying there on the ground,helpless, pulls me out of my stupor. All my instincts fight it but I walk over and offer her a hand up.

She accepts gratefully and stands, wiping her tear-streaked face with her jumper sleeve, before whispering a small thank you and all but running away.

"Ooooo look isn't that sweet, Mia's come to rescue her poor little girlfriend"

I hear snickers and laughs from the crowd.

I turn, swiftly angered beyond comprehension.

"What has she ever done to you??? What have I ever done to you for that matter??"

She flashes a wicked grin showing striking resemblance to a tiger who's just spotted lunch.

"You continue to exist" she retorts, inspecting her perfect nails.

"I'm not sure why you'd want to though especially when you show up looking like.....well..... fat-trash."

She gives a sickly sweet smile and something inside of me snaps.

That, that was the last straw.

"Brittney. You have bullied, embarrassed, shamed and put me down for most days of my highschool years. And for what? I don't look or act the way you want me to??? Is that really enough of a reason to make mine and everybody elses lives complete living hell. Do you feel some need to assert your dominance or power over us lowly peasants. Because if anything this whole act is just showing the world how truly insecure and unhappy you are in your own life."

I pause for a breath and take her in the scene before me.

The crowd is quiet save for a few murmurs and Brittney stands before me mouth agape, giving me a front row seat to her perfectly aligned pearly whites. Perfect hair and makeup, $300 bag dangling from her perfectly tanned arm, pristine clothes completely new probably never worn and an almost model worthy body.

Deep down I know I'd probably give my right foot to look like her.

But I have had enough, and I refuse to cower before her. My body is not for other people, and the only person whose opinion matters about how I look is my own."

I can see a teacher approaching down the hall accompanied by a shaken but determined Patricia.

I speak up once more before my common sense kicks in.

"I can fix my zits or lose some weight, but you're always going to be an annoying asshole who pokes fun at other people to hide your own problems. You can flounce around in your fancy clothes all you want if that is what helps. I honestly couldn't care less. But you don't get to make comments about my body or anyone else's. No one does."

I leave her then, standing with her mouth opening and closing rapidly like a fish out a water. I head towards my locker, this time with my head held high.

I may not be totally happy or accepting of my body yet but I'm certainly on the way there and right now I don't really give a shit about what other people think.

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"Deep down I know I'd probably give my right foot to look like her" - Advertisement 1 quote #4