His Royal Badness and the Mistress of Muscle -Vol. 2

Chapter 33: Church

Prince narrates:

I proudly walk into the church with Penelope on my arm. Some of the other church goers do a double take when they see us. Hey, how often do they see such a sexy couple?

Mr. Smith smiles at us and walks over. "Glad you two showed up." He says, "Penny hasn't darkened the doors of church in years."

"Not true! I've taken photos in them. Spark Elle had a whole photo shoot in one "

Mr. Smith buries his face in his hands. "Is that sacrilege?" I ask.

"Probably." Mr. Smith groans.

"I was giving my client what he wanted." Penelope insists.

"You should've encouraged a different location.You need to watch how controversial your photos are."

"Yes Dad."

"I'm going to need to see these photos-today."

"They're probably very nice."says Mrs. Smith, Mrs. Smith is the world's most supportive mom. Penelope will show her some ad for Evening Wear with a model in a skimpy bra and panties and Mrs. Smith will say,"That's lovely!" and truly sound like she means it. Most moms wouldn't be like that.

"Penny! It's about time you started going to church again!" squeals Sabrina. She has Sammy in her arms.

"Sammy is getting so big! He'll be all grown up by the time I come back from tour!" I exclaim.

"I know. That's why I decided not to be in the Mrs. Minnesota pageant until next year. But it was a great motivator to lose the weight."

 Penelope rolls her eyes."Yeah, we know you're perfect." scoffs Penelope

"Huh? You've turned into a beautiful celebrity figure who is known for her avant garde approach to photography so you're not doing bad" Sabrina reminds her.

"Girls, the sermon is about to start." states Mr. Smith who sounds a bit frustrated with them. Not that I blame him. These are grown women and they can't get along? I see Sabrina trying to extend the olive branch and Penelope not being interested. This needs to change

Sammy reaches for Penelope and makes little grunting noises. Apparently Sammy agrees with me."Aw...you want Aunt Penny to hold you?" coos Sabrina,"Penny will you take him?"

Penelope gingerly takes him. Sammy smiles cutely. "I'm still afraid of dropping him" Penelope whispers to me as we sit in the pew with her family. It's nice to see Penelope holding Sammy because she's always adored Sophie and hoped to be the sort of aunt Sophie is.

The church seems so Holy and pure. I feel a little bad for the way I screwed Penelope last night. After doing that, I come here and have the nerve to touch a Bible. Surprised it doesn't burst into flames with all the shit I've done in my life.

Today's sermon begins. It is about forgiving yourself and is preached very well by the pastor. Time to calm down about banging Penelope's brains out. She liked it and she's going to be my wife soon enough anyway. Sammy squirms in Penelope's arms. I shake his tiny hand. He grabs one of my fingers with the other hand and doesn't let go while smiling at me.

"He likes you,"Sabrina whispers. The feeling is mutual. Whether or not Penelope and I have children of our own, I know we'll dote over this one. Sabrina refers to me as "Mr. Nelson" to Sammy. Honestly "Uncle Prince" would be fine with me. 

The pastor comes up to Penelope and I after the sermon. "It's nice to see you again, Penny." He says.

"Prince, this is Jeff. He's been a pastor here since I can remember." Penelope says,"Jeff this is Prince, my boyfriend."

"I know." he smiles,"What brings you two here?"

"Penelope's family has been coming here for awhile so I thought we should visit." I say..

"Thank you for bringing her. It's been too long"

"We have to go now. He has to rehearse for his tour." Penelope says. What? My schedule is pretty clear today! She knows what I'm up to most days! Damn, she just LIED to a PASTOR! And people think I sin!

"We can hang around a bit." I say, glaring at her.

Her parents follow us in their car, Mr. Smith was serious about seeing Spark Elle's photos. "Sweetie, why did you lie to the pastor?,"I ask gently.

"I was uncomfortable in the church. I had issues. Sabrina has always lived the dream life: success in everything and I didn't.  Derek died that one year, which did it was the last straw. He was the closest thing I had to a friend at the time." She pulls over and cries,"I felt like even God prefered Sabrina to me and was unjust so after Derek's funeral I never went back to church. That was back when I was eighteen."

Her parents park behind us. "Baby, are you okay?" Mrs. Smith asks. Mr. Smith glares at me.

Penelope wipes her eyes,"I'm okay, the church just reminded me of Derek's funeral."

Mrs. Smith hugs her. "Let's go to your home, it's too cold to be out here."

"Bring me the offensive photos." Mr. Smith insists at Paisley Park.

She comes back with several photos of Spark Elle in a church. His look is clearly derived from Lana Turner. He is dressed in a vintage skirt suit and hat with short gloves. Many photos have stained glass windows in the background and Spark Elle is positioned to make the most of the sunlight going in. "Spark minored in artichature in college and liked the construction of this church." Penelope says,"That's why every picture has some gorgeous feature in the background."

"Thank Heavens these are nothing like what I imagined." Mr. Smith sighs with relief,

"We don't want to know what you were thinking dear", says Mrs. Smith.

"Drag is not something I find amusing. Maybe I'm old fashioned."

"I don't go for that sort of thing." I admit.

If these photos had a real model, they'd be Vogue quality! Penelope needs to get her head out of her ass and get some really high profile work. Maybe she can network in New York when she goes out for the Warhol tribute. Margaret could probably help her. If not I'll have to get  after Penelope.