What could PRINCE have to worry about? He's gorgeous, talented and successful And as a bonus, his insecure girlfriend Penelope Smith has become a little more confident while growing her photography business.
"So Prince and Margaret have been friends for years right? I saw her picture signing her book at the bookstore. She's gorgeous! You know they must've dated at some point or were at least fuckbuddies." says Grace.
"Grace, Prince was totally honest about her. It's all okay. She's super nice. And remember, engaged. You can stop looking out for me, I'm not helpless." I reply.
"I just care about you. Don't want to see you get hurt."
"Sometimes I wish people weren't so overprotective of me."
"We just love you. Deal with it."
"Prince wants you to be on your best behavior and so do I"
"It's all about what Prince wants isn't it? Is that why you cut your hair?"
"No" I lie.
"Penelope I know I've told you things about men that you disagree with but you can't argue this:never lose yourself for someone else." She gives my hand a squeeze. "Even though you're everything you've dreamed of:thin, beautiful, successful, in a relationship make sure it's all on your terms or else you're just a pretty shell of yourself."
It's something to ponder. When lost a few more pounds before my first awards show with Prince wasn't it to look good on his arm and be sexy in our hotel room's hot tub? Yes but I always want to be thinner anyway. Have I worn things that'd weren't one hundred percent me such as a neon green dress because he chose it? Definitely. A bit of makeup when I have gone to the gym away from home because I feel I have to be "Prince's hottie" no matter what? Of course. His sentiment that I'm a "representative of Paisley Park and ought to look the part" did feel a little off to me. Shouldn't I want to look good to represent Penelope Smith Studios? In this moment I decide to dress to be more authentic to myself. But if I'm going to one of his events, there is no shame in dolling up in the expected way.
Many women have probably let themselves be too into what their man likes and I've become one of them. But I have come to enjoy taking better care of my body and looks. It just makes me feel sexier. Grace is a great friend to point out that I need to remember to be myself. I do a pretty good job of that but sometimes I slip a bit.
"You know when I knew you were serious about Prince? When you threw out any stained or holey panties. Before him they'd been 'good enough'"Grace giggles a bit too much.
When we land, we find Margaret. She hugs me and shakes Grace's hand. "There's something I can't wait to show you guys" she says with a big grin on her face.
"What is it?" asks Grace.
"If I told you it wouldn't be a surprise."
Grace rolls her eyes. I nudge her. Something tells me this isn't going to be the only nudge I give her.
Margaret stops her car near some billboards. OH MY WORD! "That...that's my ad" I gasp as I stare at a billboard of one of my Nikon ads.
"THIS IS AMAZING! LET'S TAKE PICTURES!" squeals Grace.I just start crying.
"Penelope, it's a beautiful photo. Are those happy tears?" asks Margaret.
"Overwhelmed tears. "
How I wish I could've seen an image like this as an insecure teen. When I think of the positive impact it may have on young girls struggling with appearance issues to see someone unconventional portrayed as beautiful in an ad, of course I'm teary eyed.
Penelope has a flashback:
"What do you think Mom?" asks sixteen year old Sabrina as she twirls around in a gown for an upcoming pageant. Naturally it looks perfect-so did the five other gowns she's tried on in her favorite dress shop.
"It's beautiful, Brini." Mom gushes. I'm so bored. And I feel like a fat cow. All I can think about is going on a diet-NOW."Penny, what do you think?" Mom asks.
"It's a dress..."I sigh.
"How are we doing?" asks a saleslady named Eve. Eve has helped Sabrina with many pageant outfits."
Still deciding." smiles Sabrina.
"What about you, Hon? Going to do a pageant soon?" Eve asks me. I'm flattered but I'm chubby, and lack poise, talent and everything else you need to succeed in pageants.
Before I can say anything Sabrina exclaims,"PENNY? In a pageant? She's much too shy!" Sabrina goes back to looking at herself, chuckling under her breath. Ouch. Rub it in why don't you?
"Brini! Be nice!"scolds Mom.
Eve smiles warmly at me. "Things change very quickly at your age. I've seen the most bashful girls develop into outgoing young ladies."
That gives me hope. Maybe someday I'll be somebody.
Flashback ends.
Margaret takes a picture of me and my billboard. Over lunch we talk about how excited Prince is going to be about the billboard. Margaret hadn't mentioned it, she wanted me to be the one to tell him.
"What was he like as a teenager?" asks Grace.
"Shy, kind of cheeky, got into a few fights, basically a normal boy- except for his musical skills and big dreams" Margaret says.
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"Look,"Grace whispers,"It's Vanity!"Yes, it is in the same restaurant as us! I feel very awkward. She looks so perfect I feel as though I shouldn't be eating. There's a lot of pictures of her basically nude, I can't judge. Maybe if I looked that good, I wouldn't wear much either.
"Oh, get that expression off your face! If she was so great, Prince would still be with her!" Grace scolds
."You can't deny she looks awesome. She didn't do a Playboy pictorial a couple years ago for nothing." I sigh.
"Nude photos are something you'll never "have" to or "need" to do even though you're stunning. That's just how it is when you have real skills and talents." Margret insists with a smile.
"I take it you don't like Vanity's music." comments Grace.Margaret smirks and puts her finger to lips. The three of us laugh like crazy.
Amazing-miles from Minnesota, three women who've been with Prince in the same place! Vanity gives us a look on her way out and not a very pleasant one. "I'm gonna smack her." Grace says,"She shouldn't look at you two like that."
"To her, I'm no one. Literally, she has no clue who I am. Never been introduced to her at an event or by Prince. " Margaret confesses.
"How come he introduced you to Penelope?"
"He thought we'd get along well because we have a lot in common. Andy Warhol, the magazines we want our work in, wanting to release books and being raised in Minnesota."
"When you put it that way, it really does make sense. I thought he was being weird again."
"He has his odd moments, but don't we all?"
"Well, I definitely do. But I'll try not to at the tribute tomorrow night." I reply.
