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LILY

"Do you really have to go?" Jungkook asked me as he helped me to carry my suitcase.

We're currently in the airport. I am leaving for Los Angeles to pusue my studies just like how my parents wants me to.

"Jungkook... Of course I should. 5 years is that long right? Just don't wait for me all day so that time will pass by faster. Right?" I cheerfully told him. Just to lift his mood up. We were together since kids so I can completely understand if he's acting like this. And because of that, I have to act strong for him though it's harder for my part. I don't want to leave him either. God knows how much I want to be with him.

"Why are you acting like things aren't hard? Are you leaving me on purpose? Are you tired being my friend?!" His voice sounded hoarse. Jungkook started crying in the middle of the airport. You don't know how hard it is to hide my feelings for you. Because all these years, you only saw me as your sister. A fucking sister. I'm leaving not just because of fucking school but for myself. I'm tired of loving you alone. It's hard to love someone and not being loved back.

I tried really hard not to cry. I don't want him to see the weak side of mine. Never, not in this fucking airport.

"Jungkook, it's not like that. Stop crying. I'll come back for you don't worry. I can call you every night. Don't cry now." I hugged him as I carressed his back. I removed his arms encircled around me. "I have to go now Kookie."

"So it's really a goodbye now? I'll call you day by day. Okay?" He finally let go of me and cupped my cheeks. If he'll continue to be like this, I might fall harder.

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I finally got in the plane. Here, I bursted out crying. I don't really want to leave but if I won't leave, I might find it hard to stand in my own feet. My parents didn't really forced me to study abroad but I insisted. I think it would be better if we won't see each other for a very long time.

I liked Jungkook since forever but he never noticed a single thing about me. It was also my fault because I never told him about what I'm feeling inside. I never tried. I don't want to ruin the friendship we made for years. I just can't risk that just because of fucking love. So I preferred to stay that way though it kills me. It kills me everytime he would talk about the girl he likes, about his crushes and such with spakles in his eyes. I would help him pursue those girls and after that, I was left alone.

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Ring...ring...

Calling...

Kookie
Answer|Decline

I immediately pressed the decline button. It's been 2 months. And in that 2 months, he would always call me. I never answered any of those calls. I decided to cut my communication with Jungkook. I know the consequences of this, everything might change permanently. I think this is the best way to forget my feeling about him.

I'm pretty sure that after those years I was gone by his side;he probably have someone to spend his whole life with and that is not me. I promise to be happy for him any way around. I might regret after this but I won't regret being happy for him.

Actually, I blocked him from all my social media sites except his number. I still read his texts everyday.

Are you happy there Lily? That's why you're not answering? Glad you're happy.