Fluent in Lesbian [M]

two | kisses [M]

“Why don’t you experiment with me instead?”

Once the words leave her lips, blood rushes to her face at the speed of light.

“I mean- I mean-“

She turns into a stuttering mess, pressing her hands to her cheeks, maybe to cool down, maybe to hide her face as she scrambles for a good explanation to what she just blurted out.

“I mean, um, wouldn’t that be kinder to Jessica, to not keep her hanging like that?” she says, clenching her eyes shut in shame because it’s not like Taeyeon thinks – she doesn’t care about other people's feelings; she’s being selfish right now.

It’s not until her face turned as red as her hair – or so it feels like – and she is close to hyperventilating that Taeyeon speaks.

“What are you talking about, Tiffany?” she says. She doesn’t seem fazed at all by Tiffany’s frantic state, no, it’s the contrary. She’s looking straight at the red haired girl, unsmiling.

“I mean- ah,” Tiffany clasps her hands in her lap, trying to calm herself down. “Well, um, we’re friends and I just thought- you know, wouldn’t I be a better help? Since we’re best friends, I understand you better than most people-“

Better than Jessica.

“-so if you think about it in that way, that’s an advantage. And also, since I’m your friend I- I’m not going to fall for you or try to plant some idea into your head to stop you from confessing to that girl you like, and- yeah, um- yeah…”

When she looks up, she finds Taeyeon staring at her like she just said she wants to shower with Taeyeon’s little brother.

“I don’t know- ah, what are you saying, Tiffany..?” Taeyeon says, clearly beyond confused.

“I’m- I said- I mean-“

Tiffany hold up her hands, like she’s trying to physically grab words to create a good explanation but in the end she gives up, dropping them to her lap.

“I’m… I want to help you Taeyeon… I really do. I- I want to do this,” she looks down at her limp hands for a while, playing with her pink nails before her eyes dart up to her friend’s face. “…Please?”

“Help me..? You…” Taeyeon trails off, running a hand over her face. “I don’t think you can “help” me with this, Tiffany…”

That has Tiffany straightening up, even frowning at the brunette.

“Yes I can…!” she says. “I can – I want to..!”

She turns to Taeyeon, grabbing her shirt.

“Just tell me what to do and I’ll do it..!” she says, determined to take a part of this. “Whatever you’re doing with Jessica now, you can do it with me..!”

Taeyeon look at her, eyes studying her face before they drop, her whole head kind of dropping too.

“You don’t know what you’re saying…” she says. “Are you okay with kissing me? Not just kisses as in pecks Tiffany. Real kisses with tongue. And that’s only the tip of the iceberg. Are you really okay with me touching you? Because… because I’m not going to hold back.”

Tiffany’s heart starts beating faster, louder.

 Is she okay with that..? Yeah, yes she is. As long as she can be there for Taeyeon, be a part of this side of her too.

“Yeah- I’m- yeah,” she says. They’re best friends after all.

She gulps, hands clenching with one hand still grabbing Taeyeon’s shirt, as she looks straight at her friend who looks up before they locks eyes. Embarrassment is making her want to look away, but she fights the urge, almost like if she can hold the gaze long enough, Taeyeon will see how sincere she is.