Fish Tails

Chapter Seven

K

Do you ever get that feeling where your body starts to tingle, your stomach lurches and all you know is that you don't want to be where you are at that moment? 

I only ever experienced it a few times in my life and right now is one of them. 

Maybe my mind was overloaded with all the things I had to process or my new body needed to recharge or the 'hype' of being a merman is finally wearing off but whatever it was, all I knew is that I wanted to be home. 

I wanted to be with my mom, in our apartment, with Chester Le Roux playing cards on our porch with Scary, the only man in our town who could peel a coconut with his teeth and be listening to reggae music and the fan creaking. 

It's funny- since I moved to our seaside town, I thought it was the worst thing in the world. My family was broken, my dad probably drinking alone at a bar in Montana and my mom working overtime to afford an apartment in California with a nine-year-old kid who needed a therapist. I had a fear of the water for almost nine years and now... now I'm swimming below it with ease. 

And only a day has passed. 

This huge accomplishment has gone unnoticed- and it kinda hurts. 

My mom always understood why I was like this and she respected it but that doesn't mean she didn't imagine a different life for me. She wanted to be the one to teach me who to scuba dive, just like she wanted to teach me how to swim but never got to because even before this fear, I was too scared to go to the deep end. Instead, I would put on scuba goggles and wear floaties on my arms and swim in circles at our local pool in Montana. She wanted me to be a surfer, like Riley and Troy and go on fishing trips with Martin and his boys, our landlord. But I never could. 

I imagine she would be proud of me if she saw me right now. That, or freaked out because I have the lower half of a fish attached to me. I also imagine she would have wanted to be here, right now. She would have wanted to teach me how to use this tail instead of Mira. That is if she was a mermaid. 

What will happen after I return to my human body? How do I explain to everyone that being lost at sea has suddenly cured my fear of large bodies of water? I know people conquer their fears all the time but... skydiving to cure your fear of heights doesn't sound sane. And neither does getting lost at sea to cure a fear of the water. 

But aside from all that... Will I go on expeditions with my mom? Will I go midnight surfing with Riley and Troy? 

I smile and a chuckle escapes my lips. I haven't even gone a day of being free from this fear and I'm already fantasizing what my life will be like now that I don't have it to hold me back. Is that insane? Possibly, but so is being a merman. 

A Brute. 

What an odd name for a male mermaid. 

It doesn't seem possible that one man could change an entire species' outlook on men. But I guess there has to be a reason why the fish fears the shark. I doubt all the Brutes born were evil- I think this society has just forgotten what it's like to see a good one. 

It reminded me of the Witch Trials back in the old days. Women were persecuted for things that are acceptable today- they were deemed witches and burned at the stake before they had a chance at redemption or even explaining what happened. The mermaids down here do the same thing with Brutes- it's better to eliminate a threat than to take a chance on getting to know the true nature of what they intended on killing. 

Mira was different like that. Even though she had doubts... she seemed to be the only one down here with a shred of humanity. She was willing to give me a chance instead of sending me to the executioners.