What I'm writing is based on a true story , characters who experienced this story are either alive , dead or literally dying at the moment . But I think most probably , they are not alive .They maybe alive physically , they might be living with us , but deeply deeply inside , at the bottom of their hearts , they are so dead.
You may find a bit dramatic , a little bit Romantic . You may think that this story isn't good or isn't well - written . Well , Basically that's of course because I'm not a professional writer , Signs of disturbance and depression could be shown while I'm writing. But what I'm really trying to say that I'm a guy who experienced a lot of situations only in two years , where I could committed suicide. Maybe hung myself from the ceiling or threw myself from the balcony. I'm writing this story , because my trust barrier is now broken , I don't know what to trust anymore.
Wait a minute..!
Do you even trust me right now? Or do you think that i'm bringing up some stories or I'm lying?!
Huh , I don't know , but what I do know is that while these thoughts are still haunting me .
" Kill yourself , Kill yourself , end your misery, Please , It won't take 1 second , DO IT! "
These thoughts are still , constantly haunting me and I don't know what to do.
I'm sitting in my bedroom , shutting every light source that could reach me. It's a damn cold night , It's so cold although it is summer . My physical and sensational feelings are all scrabbled.
Sitting on my bed. Having a conversation with my inner mind
"Hey , what should I do now ?" , "Is it too late for me? I swear I'm a good guy!"
"Life isn't fair Towa , Life isn't fair "
"What do you mean by Life isn't fair ?!"
"Yesterday it was birthday right? at the beginning of June . So tell me , How many people wished you a happy birthday?!"
" What do you mean?! All of my friends wished my happy birthday , also the ones I love wished!"
"Oh! So Who of them truly wished you a happy birthday Towa?! Do you include people who are reminded by Facebook ? I'm asking about who really wished you happy birthday , who waited the clock to come 00:00, then surprised you!"
"Um mm , honestly , I-D- well ,huh h, um-mm , maybe you can skip this question, I don't remember "
"Hush Towa , You remember . You know the answer. We both know the answer . We both know who was and still loves you ,we also know who still wants you to be happy , who still thinks that you two were born for each other , to meet each other one day. We know who stood beside you numerous times, more than all your friends summed up , we know that someone who was ready to do anything just for the seek of your satisfaction , we know the one who could wait countless years just to reach you . We know everything Towa , We know . Now hurry up , go and try to sleep"
"It's 2 at the morning , How could I sleep , I've been awake for two whole days , No hydration and without food. I honestly can't live this life , I'm the reason of all what happened , How did I lose the only one who loved me!"
"Life goes on Towa , life go-.."
"NO IT DOESN'T , I'd rather die and not live this life"
"It will , probably"
"I can't stop remembering , I can't forget , I won't forget"
"Nobody told you to forget , just pass this situation Towa"
Towa starts crying , leaving the conversation without a clue , maybe one day he will find it, and maybe not. leaving what he writes , hoping he will continue his story later.
