I manage to write the second part . I honestly don't know how did I manage to do it , but at last I did it . Maybe She convinced me in my dreams to write it . I'm still writing on my bleak bed. Listening to Debussy's Clair de Lune Musical recital. No food , No hydration , No television , No any kind of entertainment . As if I'm a prisoner in Guantanamo Bay detention camp , being tortured by my mind and heart !
The Mind , which calculates every step very carefully , putting numerous plans and scenarios , the wisest part in the human body which takes most actions and makes probably most decisions. On the other hand , there is the heart , the fluffiest part in human organs , which can fall emotionally easily . Without any plans , without any scenarios , without any intentions. Just affected by the beautiful random moments that being experienced , affected by tons of memories and how these memories had an impact on it .
Mind and heart , which in most situations we live they don't agree on one solution , have come to an agreement . They agreed to torture me , they also agreed to make me suffer . As if they were in a prison torturing prisoners. They both agreed that I should remember all the details that I have lived the past two years .
"Towa , Do you remember when you first saw her ? "
"OH MY GOD , NOT AGAIN PLEASE , I'M BEGGING YOU , UH-H UM-MM PLEASE STOP I DON'T WANT TO REMEMBER ANYTHING!!"
"Why do you hide your feelings , you'll remember even if you don't want to. Remember when you first saw here , two years ago or roughly one year and seven months. Do you remember when you saw her among of 150 people or more that were either sitting or walking , but at last you chose her ? Do you remember how did you feel when you first saw her? Do you remember the amount of minutes just spent from you staring at her , staring at every little detailed part in her face ? Do you remember ? Do you remember the first smile that were on her face that day? Do you remember that from this day , you began to see her just more and more? She appeared in your life like batman showing up in the movies , Do you remember how beautiful she was , the way she looked at you , the way she sits , the way she talks , the way she laughs , her beautiful smile .OH , and the way she gets mad from her friends then laughs again, it is just beautiful .Towa , Do you reme-"
"Please . . Stop"
"Stop huh? Why Towa , she is your loved one man. Why don't you want to remember?"
"Just stop , I don't want to hear this"
"That's enough . Stop reminding him with his feelings heart , you should consider plans and predicting scenarios ! Now let's get it calculated and planned shall we?"
"Oh please not again , I don't want to hear either to heart or you , mind."
"Oh that's so sad , because anyways I will think , and you will listen to me , that's our thoughts man , our thoughts! The issue here that you loved someone, spent two years to reach her and Bravo you have succeeded , but now she's gone. So what's your problem? Do your think that you are the main reason of her disappearance? Really Towa , is that what you think?! Life will go on , whether you like it or not , it will go on. If you think of it carefully , you'll find out that you couldn't do anything more to help her , so chill up , this world is too big , know other people , of course you'll find better than her. And Towa , I'm not offending her , so don't get so mad at me. But what I'm saying that there is always better in this life. And if you thought more closely , how many years are you going to live in this life? 60 years ? 70 ? say 80 years , and then you'll die.you are now 19 years old . Do you think you should suffer until the day you die? Is that what you want?!"
"No I won't find someone who is better than her and No I don't want to suffer more , I don't belong to this life anymore , I want to die everyday I open my eyes an-"
"Liar , I know that yes deep inside you you want to die , heart told me that by the way , but do you have the guts to do it and kill yourself? I think not , she also thinks the same way I think too Towa!"
"Please don't remind me , I still haven't slept . It's 11:11 am right now , and I don't know what to do"
" Towa , your heartbeats began to rise. I can feel it , any moment now you'll fall asleep , you are extremely tired. But listen , we'll try to help you this time , me and heart , listen carefully now: she will come to you in your dreams. Treat her well Towa , look at her the way you want , show that you love her more than anything else , at least you could do it in your dreams"
"Can you do me a favour , mind ?"
"Yes , Towa ."
"Please , When she come in my dream , make our dream look beautiful , not the sad scary one."
"Your wish will be granted Towa , now hurry up and sleep , to see her once more ."
"I will mind , I will ."
