Subliminal Minds

.3.

The city was filled with an entirely different crowd of people than it had earlier in the day. It wasn't even midnight and drunken teenagers roamed the streets, almost begging to get arrested. I walked quickly with my arms tightly crossed together. The sun had gone down, and the icy wind made it very cold for a September night.

After a ten minute walk I was back at Kendall and I's apartment. Again, Kendall had forgotten to lock the door.

"Kendall, this isn't the kind of place where you can leave your door unlocked without worrying about getting robbed," I said as I closed the door behind me.

"Sorry, I forgot. It won't happen next time," she said without turning in my direction. She sat in our living room watching some show on MTV.

"That's what you said the last time," I teased as I put my bag down on the kitchen counter, walked over to our living room and sat next to her on the couch.

We sat in silence, making some remarks at the show, until I could hear Kendall quietly snoring. I put a blanket over her, turned off the tv and walked to my room to get ready for the night.

I always waited until Kendall was asleep, even though she knew where I went and what I did. It wasn't that she tried to stop me, but I could tell she didn't like it. Not that I blamed her. I just needed an escape from the real world, and I found that escape in drugs. They took my to a faraway place where my thoughts never dared to take over. That's all I really needed.

I opened my closet door and rummaged through clothes to find something to wear. I ended up wearing a tight black long sleeved dress that went down to my mid thigh. After pulling on my black combat boots, putting on a thick layer of black eyeliner and adding red lipstick,

**

I followed the sidewalk down to a club that I went to when I wasn't in the mood to go to a house party. The bouncers emotionless face turned to a smile as he saw me, and he stepped aside to let me in the club without asking for my ID.

Inside the club hundreds of people all danced along to the blasting music that came from the speakers.

Before heading to the dance floor I stopped by the bar. The bartender knew me as well, so I was able to get free drinks. I quickly drank 5 shots of vodka before disappearing in the crowd.

I was invisible. Identically to every other person here in the flashing lights that blinded us. I danced along to the music and felt myself letting go of the real world.

It wasn't long until I felt another person grinding against me. Words were not exchanged, it was kind of an unspoken deal that we wouldn't exchange names, or anything personal about each other, it would all be meaningless.

I turned around to face the stranger and kissed him, his lips strongly tasting like cherry vodka. I kissed him harder, and he did the same. I felt no spark, I felt nothing. It was all absolutely meaningless.

The night went on like this. Drinking my memories away, until I was completely numb. This was the closest I thought I would ever get to being happy.

But 2AM came quick enough, and the club was closed. Everyone shuffled out, either heading home or to another party. I saw the guy I had kissed earlier walking out of the club when he said,

"A few people are coming back to my place. You wanna come?"

I thought for a moment, but decided it was better to go home.

"No, I'm just going to go home," I slurred as a stumbled away.

Bright lights from the tall buildings around me seemed to move in front of my eyes, and everything was spinning and swirling.

I did my best to keep putting one leg in front of the other, but it was harder than ever.

"I'm going to have the worst hangover tomorrow," I groaned to myself as I continued to stumble down the street.

As I approached the apartment, I was for once glad that the door was unlocked so I didn't have to deal with unlocking it.

I stumbled in the apartment and clung onto the door to keep myself from falling. Once I had regained my balance I pulled off my boots and tossed them across the room.

I walked into my room and immediately fell onto my bed, not bothering to take of the dress I was wearing, and fell asleep.