It's All In My Head

Chapter 7- Lucy

"Make your life a dream and your dream a reality."

Antoine de Saint-Exupèry

'Who the fuck is Henry?' An angry male voice pulled me unceremoniously out of my wonderful dream.
I blinked in confusion as Daniel shook me violently.
'What are you.u...u talking about?' I ask, stuttering my words due to the force of his shaking.
'You were calling out a name in your sleep, Henry?'
'It was just a dream' I say, not sure what was more real to me right now, my dreams or this reality. I definitely knew which one I wanted to be real.
'Who is he?' Daniel asked, his blonde hair messed up from sleep.
The bed was so comfortable that all I wanted was to lie down again.
Daniel on the other hand had other ideas. I was still lying on my side with my legs tucked up to my stomach, my dream making me oddly fearless and to Daniel's surprise I just closed my eyes and tried to go back to sleep instead of cowering like I always do.
A slap on my bare arm roused me from my drowsiness.
'It was a dream' I mutter softly, too tired to bother explaining, what to my mind, had no need to be explained. A dream was just a dream right? Why was he making a fuss over a dream?
'I'm getting pissed repeating the SAME question Lucy, who the FUCK IS HENRY?' I turned from my comfortable position and gazed at the face of my husband who was now sitting at the edge of the bed. I looked deeply into his deep set blue eyes, crinkled around the edges with frown lines. His normally chiselled face was sunken under the weight of his skin.

'Henry VIII'
Was all I could think of saying, not knowing how else to explain my dream world to this man with no imagination.
'Henry VIII' Daniel looked incredulous. ' Why was you dreaming about him?' He must have been satisfied with my answer for he got off the bed, shaking his head in amusement, and started getting dressed for work.
I lay on my bed in wonder, feeling oddly full of strength. Daniel had gone into the bathroom and called me, his voice echoing off the tiled walls.
'Lucy'
'Yes' I answered, still revelling in the warm, calm feeling that was running through me.
'I won't be coming home for a few days ok? I have to go do an audit for a client in Dubai, which will take at least a few days'.
Could this day get any better? I stretched out exultantly. Was I still dreaming?
'Fine'.
'Did you hear me?' Daniel stuck his head around the door to see if I had heard.
'Yes I heard, I said fine'
'Oh, alright then'. Daniel was searching my face expectantly, his full bottom lip pushed up over his top one.
Did he expect me to cry and hold onto his legs, begging him not to leave. So as well as being Jekyll and Hyde he was also deluded, I laughed inwardly at my own sarcasm.
Sitting up I looked around my room. The walls were painted in a soft green with an accent wall with floral wallpaper, which was now hidden by a trio of walnut wood wardrobes, with a space under the middle wardrobe for my make-up table. Why does this house never feel like it's a home to me? Sometimes I feel like I'm a guest in someone else's home. 'Well maybe it's time you got up and left', a little voice said boldly from somewhere inside my head. Wow, did I really just think that? I shook my head in wonder at the little voice. Either that or I'm going mad.

Daniel had been acting very strange for the last few days, I hadn't been beaten since the strange phone call. I still didn't know who the strange man had been and hadn't had the courage to ask.
I had had a lovely day since Daniel had left for the airport, had even signed myself up for an online course in criminal psychology which had been my subject in university before leaving to marry Daniel at nineteen. I haven't felt this good since, well I honestly can't remember the last time I have felt so good. It was definitely before I met Daniel! I smiled to myself loving this new found cheekiness, it was if my mind was reverting back to what it had been, like meeting an old friend and only now, once seeing them, realising how much you'd missed them.

Feeling rebellious I had even bought takeaway with some of my weekly shopping money that Daniel had left, leaving just enough for essentials, because I hadn't been bothered to cook.

'Yeahhh' I called out to the house, fist-pumping the air, knowing no-one would answer back.
I had awoken to a bright cloudless sky and was stretched out on my king size bed feeling content all the way down to the fibre of my being.
'What shall I do today?' Sitting up and asking myself loudly.
I couldn't do anything extreme because I was short on funds, I would have to limit myself to a walk around the grounds of Hunton Castle which was half an hour away by bus, or a visit to the library. For some reason, the library didn't seem so appealing to  the new me. Sitting in a room, in silence. I could do that to my heart's content once Daniel came home.
I would take a picnic, and a book. Yes, I nodded my head, that's exactly what'll I do.

The bus ride to Hunton was beautiful, as it was March the trees had begun to bloom and late daffodils were still flowering along the hedgerows.
The bus took a winding journey through the narrow roads that bordered the forest. The castle came into view minutes later, the beauty of it sending shivers down my spine.
The large castle was square shaped each corner topped with a small tower, the windows sparkled and in awe I watched as the bus pulled up into a bus stop a quarter mile from the castle.
A ticket booth stood empty as I disembarked, the castle grounds were free to visit from the beginning of September to the end of March.
A long quarter mile walkway, edged by oak trees, ran from the ticket booth to the central courtyard of the castle.
T

he walk was my favourite part, the closer you got the more detail you saw and appreciated.
A couple of elderly ladies had got off at the same stop and were walking slowly behind me, no-one else was in sight, all the better I thought knowing I could sit in the grounds and not be disturbed. I walked on slowly too, enjoying the banter running back and forth between the two ladies behind me, one of whom it seemed was called Carmel.
My grey backpack full of sandwiches, bottles of water and diet cola was becoming a strain so I decided to increase my pace looking back at the two ladies and smiling, who both waved and smiled back at me.
I'm so glad I wore my canvas shoes I thought, the rubber soles bending as I walked, as if they were a second skin.
The sun was high, being noon and was softly beaming down it's spring rays, encasing me in happiness.
I reached the courtyard in about ten minutes and walked round to the back of the house, standing on tiptoes to look through the high ground storey windows that were raised up a metre from ground level.
The gardens at the back of the house was where I wanted to be. A picnic area was assembled for the use of visitors, so I lay down my picnic blanket on the sweet smelling, freshly cut grass and placed my treat laden picnic basket on top, I sat and retrieved the book I was currently reading from my trusty, tattered backpack.

I was so engrossed in my book that I didn't realise the weather had changed from bright sunshine to dark, rain heavy clouded sky, until the first drops of rain splashed upon my open book. The raindrops made small circular puddles upon the paper surface. I looked up in shock, and jumped up, as if I had been bitten by something and packed my picnic away as fast as I could. I ran towards the house and entered the museum doors.

I have been to Hunton many times, but for some strange reason, this time felt different, as if I were coming home. I left my picnic apparel by an umbrella stand and made my way through the entrance hall into the gallery rooms beyond. Pictures upon pictures of the nobles who had occupied this castle lined the walls. I walked slowly, gazing upon a gentleman with high set cheekbones, who imperiously stared back, not knowing why he seemed so familiar.
I looked at picture upon picture until I reached a portrait of a young girl with long dark hair and beautiful expressive hazel brown eyes. It can't be I thought and thought to myself, shaking my head to echo my inner voice, until I shrugged my shoulders giving up, yeah, oh yeah, she looks exactly like me.