the boy next door • jenzie

21 | That Wasn't Talking

It's two weeks before the wedding, which means Kenzie is leaving for college in only a month. She's sitting on the swing on her front porch, slowly swinging herself back and forth by moving her weight from her heel to her toes repeatedly. Johnny is coming over any minute now, and Kenzie has something exciting to tell him.

He walks up to his neighbour's house and sits down next to his girlfriend. She quickly jumps into conversation, not noticing the fact that the look on Johnny's face does not match her excited smile.

She places her hands on the back of his neck. "So I was thinking that today you can finally teach me how to ride a horse. You've been dying to do it for forever, and I keep pushing it back. I'm leaving soon, and I don't have much time, so let's do it today. Sound like a plan?"

It sounds like an amazing plan to Johnny. If there are two things the boy loves in the world, they are Kenzie and horses. To put the two of them together finally is something he's only been able to dream about since she's scared to death of them. It takes everything in him not to jump on the opportunity.

"Actually," he says, "I need to talk to you."

"Oh," she frowns. She removes her hands from around him and sinks back into the cushion of the swing, slightly embarrassed by the situation. "What's up?"

He leans in and kisses her quickly, long and hard.

When he pulls away, Kenzie smiles and jokes, "That wasn't talking."

"We need to break up," Johnny blurts before he can talk himself out of it.

The smile slips from Kenzie's face. "W-what? Is this... Is this a joke?" She waits for him to reply, but he doesn't. "Johnny? What's going on?"

"I love you," his voice cracks, "so much."

She can feel tears stinging the corners of her eyes. "Then why do you want to break up?"

"Because you're going to New York, and I'm not going with you," he explains.

"We said we were going to do long distance, remember? We talked about this already. We can make it work," she cries. Tears begin to roll down her cheeks, and Johnny quickly reaches out to rub them away. Kenzie retracts back quickly.

Johnny pulls his hand away and sighs. "I know that's what we said, but that's not what I want for you," he says. "I want you to go and have the best four years of your life. You should go to parties and clubs. You should stay out all night and not have to worry about finding time to call me. You should be able to meet new people and be with them and not have to miss out on time with them to make time for me. You should meet new guys and connect with them and not have to worry about hurting me. I want you to go to college and actually go to college, not be there and be missing out on stuff because I'm here."

She shakes her head. "What about what I want? I want you. I'll do anything for you. I don't need any of that stuff."

"Kenz," he says, "this is your dream. I'm not going to be the person that gets in the way of that. I'm not going to be the person that keeps you from having any type of fun you want. I know you'd do anything for me, and I know you'd miss out on whatever for me. I don't want you to. I won't let you."

Kenzie rubs her eyes with her fists. "Please don't do this. I love you."

"I'm sorry," he whispers. "Please understand."

"I don't," she says.

"I'm sorry," he repeats, and he stands up and walks away.

"Johnny," she calls after him. "Johnny, please."

It feels like her whole world stops when he keeps walking until he reaches his house. The summer breeze stops blowing. The birds stop chirping. Even the smell of the pigs in her backyard disappears. All that's left is herself and the knowing of what has just happened. She feels nothing, and then it hits her all at once. The pain. The heartache.

Kenzie struggles to her feet, feeling unbalanced as her whole body begins to tremble with sobs, and flings the front door to her house open. She stumbles down the hallway to her bedroom, the now fairly large Sunny following at her heels.

She flops down on her bed, burying her face in her pillow and wrapping her arms around the stuffed bear Johnny had given her on Valentine's Day. Sunny jumps up on the bed and nuzzles her nose into Kenzie, laying down beside her and whining, feeling her owner's sadness.