COMPULSIVE

Chapter 4

"Look at you baby, the light that was once there looks like it disintegrated ages ago. I'm so sorry, I would do anything to be there with you, but there's nothing I can do and there is nothing you can do, so you have to move on baby." I heard a familiar voice speak

I look up to find the source of the voice, I feel as if I already know who it is though.

"Aaron? Oh my god Aaron, you're here. I've missed you so much, where have you been? Why did you leave? I've been miserable without you, why did you leave me?" I proclaim.

We're are in a black space that seems like it goes on to infinity in every direction. It's completely dark and I can see nothing around me, but I can see him, it's almost as if he were glowing. W-what is this, I don't understand?

"I'm so sorry baby I couldn't stop. I couldn't stop. I couldn't stop. I couldn't stop!" He frantically yells gradually getting louder as he spoke. Tears foraging there way down his cheeks.

"What do you mean? You're here that's all that matters right?" I say "Why won't you come near me? Is there something wrong? Did you leave me for someone else, was that why you left? You said I was good enough! You said you loved and only wanted me! So I don't understand why you would leave Aaron!" I say tears making their way down my cheeks as if they were shopping at Black Friday. It was quiet for a minute.
"Aaron where are you? I can't hear you anymore baby?"

"Look at what you've done to yourself!" He says through gritted plummeting into me out of no where, which scares me more than anything.
He grabs a hold of my right wrist with such a force, snatching it up to his eyesight. All I can do is watch because he is so close to me and that's all I want, is to be close to him again. He's examining the mark that I created out of frustration at work a day ago.
He strokes my cheek, wiping the tears away. I lean into his touch. I have missed him so much.

"Baby.." he starts "you can't keep doing this to yourself, it tears me a part to see you damage yourself like this. You have to stop doing this and everything else that's eating your spirit away, at once! Okay? Can you do that for me baby?" He says, his eyes burning into mine like they once did, which seems like so long ago

"Why so you can go and fucking leave me again? I am dying Aaron! When you left, I felt and am still feeling something that I never imagined even possible to feel. It's like knives are carving and prying there way through every little feeling that I once had. You can't put a bandage on that and expect it to be healed in the morning Aaron!" I've never felt so much hate and agony for a person, but I've also never loved someone more or wanted someone so close to me before. It hurts.

"Baby it has been 2,555 mornings and it's like you're being freshly cut up again, day after day, after day! Do you know what it's like to watch you do this Sabrina?" He says

"Do you know what it's like not to see you at all Aaron? Why did you leave me? I've asked you over and over and you never answer me! That's all I've ever wanted to know!" I say sobbing, feeling completely vulnerable

"If I knew, I would tell you baby, just like when I told you everything else before. He says looking into the distance "It's time to go again baby." He says stoking my cheek
I hold his hand onto my cheek in aggravation to not let him go again. I become panic itself. The ache in my chest expanding through my entire body allowing me to throw every ounce of everything that I have left in me, to him. My one and only love.

"No no no please baby don't go again, you can't- I can't do this again I- I c-can't do it anymore" I sob as get down on my knees pounding with all of my strength into his legs he doesn't budge as if he doesn't feel a thing.