Alone

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Seto sat typing away at his desk; drowning himself in work as he had been the past two months. He found that if he didn't allow himself time to think he could manage just fine. He sat back in his chair with a sigh, rubbing his eyes. The fatigue was setting in, he hadn't been able to sleep properly, his thoughts of the pharaoh keeping him awake. Just as they had when Atem was still in that other dimension. His damned brain wouldn't allow him solace, even when he knew everything was over between them. Their rivalry crushed by his petty, throbbing heart.

Seto leaned forward, ready to begin typing again, when a knock sounded at his door.

"Yeah?"

"You have a visitor, Mr. Kaiba."

Seto sighed, "Name? Business?"

"They wouldn't disclose. They said it's urgent."

"Send them in." he grumbled, who in the hell did this person think they were?

In a few moments he heard his door sliding open; he looked up from the paperwork he was signing, eyes going wide with disbelief.

No.

"Kaiba." Atem's voice rang out softly; he walked up to the work desk, his violet gaze meeting Seto's surprised blue one.

Regaining his composure, Kaiba straightened his back, glaring back at Atem icily.

"This had better be important pharaoh." Seto nearly hissed the word, as if it left a bitter taste in his mouth.

Unphased by Kaiba's hostility, Atem stood boldly in front of him. His gaze challenging the CEO's in every way.

"Why did you stop dueling?"

Seto scoffed, sitting back in his chair. 

"I thought I said not to waste my time."

"No, you said this had better be important." The pharaoh reminded him, "and for you to quit dueling, I have reason to believe it is."

"Listen, Atem, just because I quit playing some stupid card ga-"

"Why did you bring me back here, Kaiba?" Atem cut him off, his hand smacking Seto's desk forcefully as he leaned in toward the CEO; his gaze challenging as ever. 

Seto sat there silently for what seemed like eternity, going over what to say in his head. He had so many things; accusations, arguments, confessions, he wanted to make to Atem. All that escaped his lips was:

"I wanted to duel you."

"Don't lie to me, Kaiba. Why would you go through the trouble of finding me and dragging me back if you were just gonna duel me once and stop?"

Curse him. Curse the pharaoh for being so overly perceptive.

Letting out a long sigh, Seto ran his fingers through the back of his hair in frustration. Fine, he wants the truth? He'll get it.

"Fuck, what do you want me to say, Atem? That I couldn't get over you? That I couldn't get through a single goddamn day without thinking about you? That I needed closure as to why you left without so much as a single word to me? That when I spent years finding and reassembling that goddamned puzzle, begging for your return, when you only returned once Yugi needed you to? That I wasted months of my precious time putting together a way to come find you, to bring you back, only to be brushed off again in favor of Muto?" Seto couldn't stop the tears this time, he wasn't sure he even cared to anymore.

"Or how about that I now spend sleepless nights and drown myself in work just to push you from my thoughts? That I feel as if I'd be better off dead, rather than be living and dead on the inside? All my efforts to convey how I felt, tossed aside, brushed off as some rivalry fetish. Is that what you wanted to hear, Atem?"

A mix of emotions shown on Atem's face, shock, sadness, sympathy.

Seto scowled, "Don't you dare feel sorry for me, not now. You haven't the right anymore." 

The CEO got up, shoving a hand in his pocket and turning his back on the pharaoh; looking out his large window to the streets below.

A long moment passed in silence, Seto turned to tell Atem to leave, but his throat caught once he saw the tears rolling down Atem's face.

"I'm so sorry, Seto." he choked out.

Seto's stomach twisted at Atem calling him that, he never referred to him as anything but Kaiba. He waited in a long silence, waiting for Atem to say something, anything else.

Then he realized he wasn't going to.

That was it. He was sorry, but he loved Yugi. There was no changing it, no fixing the situation. His heart belonged to someone else, and he was sorry that Seto had troubled himself so much to be turned away.

Seto's heart seized. His ears filled with ringing as he tried to come to terms with the situation; finally he spoke the words "Please leave." but they felt foreign, as if someone else had said them.

"Seto..."

"Go."

"Seto we need to talk about this, you can't get better if you don-"

"Just go!" Seto slammed his hand on the table, causing it to shake violently. He couldn't hear Atem reject him another time. His sanity was wavering as it was, he couldn't lose himself. He had to keep it together. For Mokuba's sake.

He felt hands brushing along his cheeks, and lips pressing to his forehead. He heard the muffled "I'm sorry." then footsteps and the door shutting to signify leaving.

He stared at the floor, every breath making him feel like a fish with no water. His chest throbbed painfully, and he felt himself slide out of the chair and into a fetal position on the floor. He longed for death; not once in his life, not even as Gozaburo was beating the living hell out of him, did he ever wish for death. 

But now he pleaded for it.

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