S a y o r i !

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I wake up in the morning feeling the same way. I feel so... empty. The walls of my room haunt me and I hate it, but I don't wanna get out of bed. Who knows what might happen, what Mike will hurt me next by. It's pure torture every, single, mother fucking day. You don't see it, but I'm just full of negativity and sadness.

Oh, yes I have depression. I've been got it ever since I was five, when I first met Mike; he's my childhood friend who's been with me all my life. We're about 18 now, but I've been suffering ever since. It's so painful that you wanna lay in bed all day and not come out of it. God, help me...

I muster up the courage to get out of bed. It hurts, my whole body aches from sleeping. I could be on time for once if I just get up.
I take off my sleeping clothes to present my skinny body in the mirror, flat thighs and a stuffed bra. Some of the tissue I put in it had fallen out, so I grab a bunch of it from my desk and put it in quick so I don't have to look at my shameful face again. I put on my uniform and the little blood crimson bow that I had used for about 3 years.

I grab my bag and my poem for the literature club I'm in, consisting of Natsuki and Yuri who fight some of the time, Monika who's popular amongst everyone and is the club leader, and obviously me who was ranked as Vice President for being the first one to join. Why did I ever even do that? I bet that they don't even welcome my presence, they hate me and they don't show it.

I check the time, I'm early. But my stomach growls loudly at me for something to eat. I hadn't eaten in about 3 weeks now, and I was starving at this point. I weakly went to the kitchen and stared at everything that was there. Nothing was rotten yet. I took out a loaf of bread, cutting 4 slices out of it. 2 sandwiches are better then one, I guess. I get some cold cuts, cheese, and mayo from the fridge and put 2 slices of cheese and meat into each one. I get a butter knife and spread it onto the loaves. It... reminded me of something.

I lifted up my left sleeve to reveal major cuts that I had done a few years back, when I first settled into my home away from my parents. It was so bad that I had to go to the hospital because I lost a liter of blood from that single arm. I licked most of the blood but I guess that didn't work...

Anyways, I had made the sandwiches successfully and sat down to eat them after putting them down on a plate. I ate slowly, cautious not to eat too fast or I'll vomit it all up. I wondered if Mike would be on time and wait for me like he would occasionally. Or would he leave me hanging like always?

I check the time again. It was almost time to go, so I finished my 'breakfast' and headed out. The sun blinded me overhead as I stumbled out of my home and slipped out a key from the pot  of flowers overhead by my door. I locked the door, put the key back, and headed for school.

God, it felt like an eternity to walk all the way there, and I didn't even want to see him. But I was taking my time, I was most likely late because I found him walking down the street. The muscles in my throats contracted and gave me butterflies, but I forced out a shout to him.

"MIKEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!" I ran up to him despite how tired I felt. I was supposed to be the annoying childhood friend... right? Humph, try-hard.

Apparently, he stopped to wait for me as I hobbled down the street until I was shoulder to shoulder with him. "Mike, it's really nice that you waited for me this time, but I still caught you~!"

"Eh, you still don't win. Cause you're late." He said this so coldly I broke my already shattered black heart into microscopic pieces.

"Awww, meanie!" I put my fingers together and imitated an anime pose that I had did for years to make him believe I was flustered, I guess he believed it. He rolled his eyes while half smirking at my stupidity.

"Sooooooo... are you joining any clubs this year? It's only the 2nd month!" He hadn't joined a club, so I wanted him to join my club; he would go well with the other girls.

"Why would you ask me that?" He said, oblivious to my question's purpose.

"Oh cmon! If you don't join a club, you won't develop the social skills in college! I worry for you, geez!"

"Mmmm, I wanted to try the Anime club..."

"Hey, what about my club?" I suggested.

"Uhmmm, no. I don't even have any interests in literature. Tell me, did you only join that club because you wanted it to skyrocket as a good club and that only?"

"Ehehe, you're so funny Mikey!" I tried to hide the sweat shooting out of my head, but he saw right through me. I just wanted Monika's club to be as good as any other...

We had found the school and entered in. We took completely different classes, but I had no idea what I was doing when I hugged him out of nowhere, startling him and making a crowd around us watch. Nevertheless, his chest felt warm and soft, like fluffy pillows...

I jerked myself away from him forcefully and waved a crazy "See ya~!!" before heading to class. He was blushing red from the corner of my eye as he normally walked to class. NORMAL. Why can't I be like that?

•••••. 💔o_o💔 .•••••

"Hey Mikey!" I exclaimed to him in his now empty classroom. He was dozing off, and I didn't even realize that I came in to get him back on track.

"Wha...?" He said confused. "Oh, hey Sayori..." He was probably daydreaming.

"You were thinking too hard again, silly! Are you going to look for the clubs now?" I beamed so much it was too fake to be true. "You can come join the literature club! Th-that is..." I fumbled with my wording. "U-uhmmmm..."

"Spill it, Sayori," Mike said, sort of impatient.

"I already told them you were c-coming..." I played around with my hands until I came to conclude on a good note. "But! Natsuki; a.k.a the best baker in the world; made cupcakes for the occasion. You'll love them, I promise!!"

Mike sighed, but let me take his hand out of the classroom and into the club room: my true home. Everyone looked up. "Hey everyone!" I shouted out.

Words: 1163

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