All At Once (Luke Hemmings)

Chapter 5

Alana's P.O.V

I don't have many friends. I don't really want many friends, I just need a few I guess. I would have more friends, maybe even more good friends, if my story didn't scare them off the second they met me. Basically, I'm a quiet, anti-social, geek. But in another way, I'm an adventurous socialite. I can be a mixture of both, if I'm in the right place, with the right people, I can be a sassy little slayer..

We'd gotten out of the stream, and dried off as much as we could. We had no idea where we were, just that it was really cold, there were a lot of trees, and those things got caught up behind us. The already grey skies were growing darker by the minute, so I went looking for some form of shelter. ''Where are you going? You can't ditch me yet, come on.'' That's so cute, he thought I was ditching him. That was definitely one thing he wouldn't have to worry about. Me. Ditching him. Haha, never. ''I'm gonna go look for some shelter, it's getting pretty dark out. Oh, and pretty boy, I would never ditch you. Okay?'' He looked at me with a puzzled look on his face. ''Are you sure? I mean, you kind of seem like the girl who would. You know..ditch me.'' THE KIND OF GIRL. WHAT. EXCUSE ME BUT WHAT ALSO ARE YOU SERIOUS. I laughed dryly at his remark. ''Trust me, I'm not that kind of girl. I was kinda afraid that you would ditch me. I mean, you seem like that kind of guy.'' I smirked at my own statement. It was true, I mean, he looked like the typical dreamboat. Gets ALL the girls, and even some of the guys, and won't even look at anyone who goes near the library.What he said next astounded me. ''I'm not that kind of guy who cheats on his seven girlfriends while he sleeps with their cousins. I have a girlfriend...and....I love her...'' well that sucks. ''and?'' He looked confused at my question. ''And? What else. You love her and?'' I knew there was something missing from his remark. I love her. I mean, sure, I love pizza but I love pizza a lot. I don't just love it. Love is a confusing little shit. You're never quite sure about it. Your senses might tell you that you love them, but your head is really thinking otherwise. In my opinion, there is only a few times in your life, only a few people, that you can say to them 'I love you.' Not just girlfriends or boyfriends or parents or friends. It sounds so typical, but there really only is one person in your life who you can truly love, I mean you can love everyone, but true love is a feeling based on mutual desire and attraction. It comes from the mind, not the heart, okay the only thing that comes from the heart is blood and life, I guess. Love comes from the mind, it's basically an illusion. One day you wake up and realize it's there, and one day you wake up and realize that it's gone. You ever notice how the word 'lover' ends in 'over?' That's because one day, it will all be over. That one person you thought you would be spending your life with, will be gone. Love doesn't last, but if you chose to make it last for the period of time that you have it, the aftermath of the heartbreak won't be as bad. You'll be strong. Resilient. But not happy. Love is a bitch. It takes away any hope we had of a happy life the second we fall into it's trap and turns it into a ball of delusional, confusing magic that only lasts years at the most. Yeah I know, call me a dream-crusher, but I know. I learnt. Back to him, he was still staring at me. But not at me. He was having a moment, I guess. I wanted to say something, but I just couldn't find the words. '' I don't even know, okay? I don't know how, but I don't love her. I said I did, but now I'm thinking about it, she's too unspoiled and amazing to be stepped on, stood on, beaten up and ruined by me. She deserves better . '' These words engraved themselves into my heart as he spoke them. I truly felt sorry for this boy now, he was caught up in his own web of deceiving thoughts from the heart entangled with painful reality. He looked devastated. I broke the silence. ''Uh, come on, we should probably go look for shelter.'' As this was my original plan. He simply got up, without a word, and walked off in search of shelter.