In His Dreams - JiHope

Just a Doll

8 sleepless nights later.

He opened his eyes, he was in the same living room as before, the furniture had changed, but the house remained the same. He reached out with his hand and found the same glass barrier blocking him from going too far into the room, he just hoped that it would be a better dream this time.

The sudden heavy footsteps stomping down the stairs followed by the desperate voice of a child destroyed that hope.

The man was the first to enter the room, his arms were filled with soft toys and action figures. He was followed by a child, which seemed to be the same one as the last dream but older. This time he was about 8 or 9 years old. He was pulling at the arms of the older man, begging him to stop.

"No son of mine is going to play with girls toys" the man growled, pulling his arm out of the child's grip.

"But Dad...."

"No! I've been trying to break you out of this wimpy girly behaviour since the day you were born, you've always disappointed me." The man growled as he stalked to the fireplace, piling the toys into the ash.

"Please Dad, Please...don't do this" the boy begged. Hoseok's heart stuttered as he realised what was happening. This couldn't be real could it? This was mental abuse. He was on his knees behind the glass barrier, both hands pushing against the glass, trying to reach the man, to stop him.

"Your mother isn't here anymore, so I'm going to do what I should have done years ago. I'm going to toughen you up." He sprayed the pile of toys with lighter fluid and stood up "And the first thing to go is this cutesy fluffy bullshit" He watched the child's eyes fill with tears.

"Don't you cry, you little princess, they are just dolls." The man growled "The next thing to go will be that little fairy you call a friend"

The blood leeched from the child's face as he gasped at the threat, then rushed back in a flood of colour. He sniffed but no tears escaped his eyes, as he bravely watched the man light a match and throw it on his toys. Hoseok was sobbing for the boy, tears rolling down his face as the toy pile went up in a woosh, acrid smoke crawling up the chimney. The boy sank to his knees in front of the fireplace, and the man stared down at him, grinning like the Cheshire cat, satisfied that the little brat was finally toughening up.

Hoseok woke up, he was tangled in his sheets, and he was whimpering while tears dripped from beneath his lids. It was pitch black in his room, but he could tell that Jimin wasn't in his bed again. Hoseok sighed, he had a schedule in the morning, he needed to try to sleep some more, but he knew he was unlikely to drift off again tonight. Rolling to his side, he tried to stop crying but all he could see behind his closed lids was that kid, holding back his own tears as his father destroyed his childhood.

The next day

Hoseok had been slowly drifting away from the band members over the last week, pulling back into himself. He had apologised to Jin after the dance practice disaster, but he still felt betrayed but Jimin and his band mates, and he felt lost and lonely.

After the nightmare last night, and without the support of his group, he felt hollow and empty. And he knew he looked awful - his eyes were puffy from crying, and the dark rings looked like bruises, giving him a dark and violent look.

He walked into the kitchen of the dorm, joining Taehyung and Jungkook at the breakfast bar he sat on a bar stool and slouched. Looking at the two youngsters he caught them staring at him and sighed.

"What do we have on today?" he asked.

Taehyung blinked like he was waking up, this was the first time Hoseok had talked to him in three days. He slowly lifted his toast to his mouth and took a bite, gathering his thoughts before answering in a careful tone, "We have Defconn's new variety show, I can't remember the name right now, and then After School Club"

Hoseok nodded, sliding off the bar stool and returning to his room without another word.

He walked in to see Jimin had gotten out of bed, and was just standing in the closet staring at something on his shelf.

Hoseok frowned, before stepping forwards to see that Jimin was looking at the shoebox, with the saddest look in his eyes. Hobi flinched, the crack in the most secret part of his heart splitting, splintering into two cracks, branching into new parts of his heart. He didn't say anything, there was nothing he could say. So he turned around, left the bedroom again, and retreated to the bathroom to get dressed.

Arriving at the studio where Defconn and Jung Hyung Don were recording their new show, the members piled out of the van. Hoseok was the last to get out, and he looked up in time to see Jimin watching him, with a blank look on his face.

The younger boy fell back to walk beside him, letting the rest of the band rush into the building as they made their way up to the correct floor, and into the staging area "Are you OK Hoseok?"

"I'll be fine Jimin" he replied, without looking at him. He knew he was lying, and he knew the boy didn't believe him, but he replied with a slowly drawled "OK". Neither of them said anything further until they were in the staging area

Jimin looked around and realised his stylist was on the far side of the room, taking a single step away from Hoseok, Jimin hesitated. He turned towards Hoseok, then shook his head and took another step towards his stylist. He paused again, looking back at the older boy, this time taking in the hollow cheeks and pale skin, before meeting his eyes. Jimin started to say something then paused AGAIN.

"Just say it Jimin" Hobi sighed before closing his eyes, not having the energy to deal with the brat.

"Don't let them see you cry Hobi" The seriousness and conviction in the pink-haired boy's voice was so unlike the cheerful youngster that Hoseok just blinked at him. By the time he focussed on the words, Jimin was gone.

Sitting in the makeup chair he considered the advice, turning the words over and over trying to understand where they came from, as the stylist sighed and got to work covering the effects of his restless night. He shrugged as his stylist finished his hair, he couldn't waste his energy trying to understand, "Show time Hobi" he whispered, plastering a smile on his face.

Hoseok's performance was perfect as always. He was cheerful, caring, bouncy, and energised his band members throughout the recording. He even jumped up to demonstrate his newest dance moves (he learnt them from the amazing dancers in Japan on his last trip). But once the cameras were turned off, he slumped in his seat, and yawned, plugging his headphones in and closing out his band members. All he wanted to do was go back to the dorm and curl up in his bed.