𝖒𝖆𝖗𝖛𝖊𝖑 𝖔𝖓𝖊𝖘𝖍𝖔𝖙𝖘

- 𝚐𝚕𝚘𝚠-𝚞𝚙 [𝟷𝟿𝟺𝟶𝚜]

     You had known Bucky Barnes since you were little. He was a tubby kid, best friends with a sickly thin boy named Steve. He only had other friends because of his sense of humor. Back then, he was known as James. You remember finding him hilarious. You would've had a crush on him had it not been for the fact that he wasn't very attractive.
     When you were in middle school, he lost a little weight, and started getting semi-cute. He was still incredibly dorky, and you became friends with him and Steve for a couple years. Then, you moved.
     Moving schools was difficult, especially because all your friends threw you a party. That was when things got awkward. You were chatting with James, and he leaned closer. And closer. You took a step back, and he was extremely flustered. You told him you didn't think of him that way, and you were sorry. He said he completely understood. He looked upset. You felt awful.
     But that was years ago. Now, you were back in Brooklyn. It was odd, just because it looked like nothing had changed.
     "(Y/N)?" You turned around to see a small, gangly boy with a cut on his cheek. You recognized him immediately, unchanged and still picking fights.
     "Steve?"
     "You're back?" Steve looked at you disbelievingly.
     "Well—"
     Too late, he had wrapped in a very tight, very bony hug.
      "Stevie, what have I told you. I can't keep beating up every guy you pick a fight..." the smooth voice trailed off, probably catching sight of you. You released Steve and saw... no, it couldn't be.
     This man looked like James, but... a lot more attractive. Like... a lot.
     He was tall and well built, with broad shoulders and thick dark hair. He had his peaked hat tipped endearingly to one side. He was clean shaven with a jawline sharp as a blade. His eyes were a piercing blue, which widened when he saw you.
"(Y/N)?"
"...James?"
"Actually, it's Bucky now." He smiled and looked at his shoes, rubbing the back of his neck.
"Bucky?"
"Short for Buchanan. My—"
"—middle name." He looked back up, and you grinned.
"It's been a while," he cleared his throat uncomfortably.
"Yeah. Y-You look great. How are you?"
"Better."
"How so?" You frowned.
"Well, the last time you saw me I didn't have many friends, no confidence. Now... I've gained both. And I was drafted, so..." he trailed off, his expression darkening.
"You were drafted?"
     "Yeah. But... I'm helping my country," he attempted to focus on the positive side.
     You nodded, still feeling sympathetic.
     "Hey, Steve and I were gonna go out with a couple of dames later... care to join us?" James—no, Bucky—offered with a grin.
     "Yeah. Sure," you responded, slightly shocked. A couple of dames? James, popular with girls? You assumed everything would be the same when you came back.
     Oh, how wrong you were.

     About six hours later, you were laying on the grass next to Bucky, watching the fireworks display. The two girls had gone home, and you felt a feeling in your gut that you were one of the reasons why. One girl was stuck with Steve, and was jealous that her friend was able to go with Bucky. The other girl, Bucky's date, seemed to be jealous of... you.
     Bucky couldn't take his eyes off of you the entire night. You remembered how funny he was, and how kind. The one thing that surprised it was his confidence. He was bolder, now. He asked you how life was, even if you had a boyfriend. You told him life was good, and no, you didn't have a boyfriend. You swore his shoulders straightened and he looked just a little bit more smug. You giggled, and when he asked what was so funny, you just shook your head. His date rolled her eyes.
     After Steve had gone back to the apartment, where you decided you would crash, Bucky told you he wanted to show you something. You followed him to a grassy hilltop, where dozens of other couples sat cuddled together. You blushed at the thought that he would take you here.
"I know the best spot. Follow me."
Bucky led you to a spot away from all the people.
"It's so secluded," you marveled.
"I know," he spoke proudly. "It's also the best view."
You frowned in confusion.
"Lay down here."
You fell back onto the grass, Bucky beside you.
"The sky looks so beautiful," you gazed up at the stars.
"Just wait," Bucky grinned from next to you.
A loud sound was heard, and a brilliant explosion of green and blue lit up the night sky. You turned to him excitedly.
"Fireworks?"
"Yup."
"Wow."
You watched the display in awe. At some point, Bucky had taken your hand. You didn't pull away.
At the end of the show, everyone clapped. You watched the smoke drift among the stars.
"Can we stay here for a little?"
"Sure," Bucky smiled.
"Do you know any constellations?"
"I'm so glad you asked."
You and Bucky spent the next half hour looking for any constellation you could think of.
"I found it!" You gasped, pointing to the stars. "Look, it's Taurus!"
"Nice. I never would've spotted that," Bucky squinted.
"Well... that's the twelve major constellations plus Orion, and both the Ursas."
"Yeah. I proud of us."
"Me too."
You sat in a comfortable silence.
     "Things are so different since when I left," you murmured.
"Did you expect everything to be the same?" Bucky questioned softly.
"Well... yeah. Kind of."
     You sighed. Bucky was quiet.
     "Listen... (Y/N)... I wanted to apologize. For... the last time I saw you. I want to say that I was caught up in the moment, or some other excuse... but, the thing is... I had a crush on you for years. I knew it was doubtful that you liked me back. I just wanted to try it. Just in case. So... though I want to apologize... I can't. Because I'm not sorry. I really liked you, and I did it on purpose. So... I'm apologizing for not being able to apologize. And, um... yeah."
     You stared at him in shock. His jaw was set, his eyebrows pulled together in concentration. He was concentrating on you. Your breath caught in your throat. His eyes were a clear blue in the starlight.
"James... Bucky," you corrected yourself. "I have to admit... I was pretty shocked. I was going away... there were so many emotions going through my head. When you tried to kiss me... I don't know, I was overwhelmed. The thing is, you're funny and smart and nice and... perfect. You deserve someone better than me. I was rude and dismissive, and I had no right. You don't need to apologize. I do."
Bucky shook his head, a smile clear on his face.
"You had every right. It was unfair of me to put you in that kind of position. And it's unfair of me now."
"What do you mean?"
"I still like you, (Y/N). I never really stopped. I never forgot about you when you moved away. Sure, I changed, but you've always been in the back of my mind. You were an amazing friend, and I couldn't as for a better girl. But this is your choice. If you don't want this, I won't bother you about it ever again." You sighed.
"Bucky, you deserve a girl that has never doubted she loved you. Someone who's funny and brilliant and sweet... just like you."
"(Y/N)... you don't get it. Do you know what I see when I look at you? Perfection. (Y/N) (L/N), you're amazing, and it's me that doesn't deserve you."
His expression was so compassionate, you almost melted.
"I'm not good enough for you," you whispered.
"Doll, you're perfect." When Bucky leaned forward this time, you didn't back away. His lips were soft, and he gently put a hand on your waist. He pulled away, and you rested your forehead on his, eyes still closed, the grass tickling your ear.
"I love you."
You didn't mean to say it. It just sort of... slipped out. But as soon as the words tumbled from your lips, you realized it was true. You had always really liked Bucky. He had the best personality, the most contagious laugh, the kindest actions.
You never realized until now.
"You do?"
Bucky looked so caught off guard. You had never seen him so surprised, his eyes wide and his lips slightly parted.
You nodded, biting your lower lip.
"Yeah. Yeah, I think I do."
Slowly, a smile began to creep onto his face.
"(Y/N)... I love you too. Always have. Always will."

   Yessss it's another Bucky one I'm sOrRy
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