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"LITTLE J!!!"
"RHYS! WHY ARE WE SHOUTING?"
"BECAUSE TODAY'S MEET THE BOYFRIEND DAY! I'm ready, where is this so called boyfriend of yours?"
"Yeah, about that, his flight was delayed and he won't be back until tomorrow night. So, um, you'll just have to wait then."
"You are such a terrible liar, loser. Now, get your fat ass off your couch and give your 'boyfriend' the phone."
"Fine, dumbass. Don't get your panties in a twist. Babe, come here, Rhys wants to talk to you!"
"Yes 'babe', Rhys wants to talk to you."
"..."
"..."
"Hello?"
"..."
"Anyone there?"
"Holy shit, you're real."
"And you're alive. How you doing buddy?"
"Um, I'm good dude. What's your name?"
"The name's Bond, James Bond."
"No, seriously, what's your real name?"
"Fine, it's Chadwick Merryweather Harding... The third."
"Really? Wow, your parents must be really famous or something."
"NO STUPID, THAT'S NOT HIS REAL NAME. IT'S FROM THE MUSIC VIDEO OF 'LIFESTYLES OF THE RICH AND THE FAMOUS', IDIOT!"
"You weren't supposed to tell him babe! I just needed to find out if he was as dumb as you told me he would be."
"Jeez, you two are truly Satan's children. You know, I was going to take it easy on you, boy, but now, you just crossed the line doofus!"
"Holy crap dude, chill. Fine, I'll take it down a notch, but I'm only doing it for-"
"DON'T SAY MY NAME!"
"-my girlfriend. Besides, you mean a lot to her and I don't want to ruin your friendship just because you don't like me."
"Thanks man, that was nice of you. By the way, what's your name?"
"Oh, it's just Chase."
"Okay, 'just Chase', I'm Rhys but you probably knew that already. You said that your girlfriend cared about me, so how are you okay with all this?"
"What do you mean?"
"Because I'm a guy, she's a girl, and you're her boyfriend..."
"Well, normally, it kinda annoys me when my girl hangs out with dudes because they usually hit on her but I'm totally fine with you. You're literally the best gay friend a guy could ask for, for his girlfriend and I love you for that."
"..."
"Rhys, you still there?"
"Say that again."
"I love you for-"
"-No! Not that part...gay friend part."
"Oh yeah, she told me you were her only gay friend."
"...she told you I was gay?!"
"Yeah man. Oh, I'm sorry, are you not out of the closet yet?"
"SHE TOLD YOU I WAS GAY?!"
...
"I'M NOT GAY!"
"...you're not gay?"
"No!"
"HE'S NOT FUCKING GAY?!"
"LITTLE J, YOU TOLD HIM I WAS FUCKING GAY?!"
"...oh shiitake mushrooms,"
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