Life is Crazy (Real Story)

Chapter 4 How Could You

Wow bruh it's really getting to the point I hate all this pussy ass shit you with Ray and stuff . Sometimes I just be wanna up and say  fuck you because I mean damn I like you before anybody. Like I caught feelings for her and stuff and we had so much fun on the phone like she would show me and tell me anything. I was so in love that I would have to talk to my counselor it was that bad till I couldn't even talk to my mom about it. My mom didn't know but she would question me at times but I would always tell her no about everything. It's crazy how you gotta hide ya damn feelings about someone you like so much. A couple days ago Shay told me what she was looking for as in general. We were on facetime one day and her and Ray had been going through some things and I was always there for Shay. So she was telling me they broke up after they was about to make a year in there relationship. I always talked to my cousin (Ray) he was just on the phone with me and was like I knew it wasn't going to work. I said "What's not gonna work" he hung up addmittedly I knew something was wrong because Ray never hung up in your face. I called Shay she had been going through some things and her and Ray would never talk and they would be girlfriend and boyfriend with each other. You couldn't be boyfriend and girlfriend to someone and you not even talking to that person. Ray was just always sad and mad at the time and I would ask him what's wrong he would just say nothing when there's really something wrong. Ray was just the type of person to not show his emotions he just kept them in. It was so bad till his emotions started taking over him. So Shay coulda never talked to Ray how she wanted to they had to break up. I felt so bad for her because I knew how love she was but  danggg her and Ray was like the perfect couple I got over the fact that he took her away but I know it hurted her so bad because he was like the love of her life. Shay had finally drop the stupid ass news she wants to date boys. When I was talking to her I was good we were having a little nice conversation but then she up and told me she like boys like how could you. At first it was like I don't know what I want I like girls and boys so I mean for you to tell me that it kinda hurted me. I knew I was going to get over the fact she liked boys now but like damn we always had this talk. We were on facetime and I was quiet the whole time she knew something was wrong. So she started getting mad because I wasn't saying nothing I mean like what does a person have to say if the person you liked so much and also love told you they want to date boys. When we both get in our feelings Shay always say well Diamond I have feelings for you. She just didn't wanna get in a relationship because she was with Ray but now Shy and Ray were broke off. I wonder if it was the time to go with my move but I knew had been going some things so I didn't want that to be on her shoulder. You would have thought Shay took it hard breaking up Ray took it extremely hard because I guess that was his first girl to ever be there for him and love him. I felt so bad for them because both of them were deeply in love and now they were broke up. My feelings never changed for Shay they were still the same I still liked her and everything. I was going through alot and Shay was really the person I can tell anything to and I just thought it woulda been a good time to tell her my feelings never changed but I was just shy and didn't say anything. When we talking she told me that her and Ray were going to get back together when the time was right. I was like oh okkk I wanted her so bad I mean if I was to gain her as a girlfriend I would be happy but that would have been kinda down bad because I would have took her from my cousin. Damn this is a crazy and stupid postion when you have to put a smile on your face when your really not happy and you wanted something you can't get. Sometimes I got that feeling that I didn't even wanna talk to Shay ever again but I mean I couldn't do that because she was the only person I can talk to and I liked her and for me to go a day without talking to it was just eat me up inside. UGHHHH I just couldn't get over the fact she liked boys like at first you thought you liked girls but now it's just OH I WANT DICK really but whatever I'll just go with it even though I still like her. Her birthday was coming up she have friends I don't like and I'm the type of person if I feel like your trying to play my friend I'll flash I don't care who you are. She had those type of friends who like play you on a slick and I know if she was to have a little something for her birthday I was gonna come regardless but if I was to see some animosity I'm going to speak on it. I always said if you feel played get off but thats my friend and I cared for her and had her back.

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