Tomorrow Never Knows

Chapter Six

        I woke up alone, shivering, and thoroughly disoriented. My head pounded as I tried to figure out what was going on, and where I was. Dawn was just breaking, or so it looked like. I couldn’t quite tell. The sky was full of clouds, washing the earth around me in a grayish hue.

        Looking around, I began to panic. I was lying on the side of a strange road, in a bush, alone, with no shoes. I was sure my hair looked a mess as well, but I was more concerned with how the hell I got there. My first instinct was to wonder where Kevin was. My memory soon began to catch up with me and I felt a stab of heartache when I remembered what he’d done.

        But what had I done? How could I possibly have ended up on the side of a road I didn’t remember ever seeing before?

        I sat up and looked around. In the distance I saw a familiar looking club, and all of the night before’s events came flooding back into my mind, from the dancing to the drinking to Rob getting angry to…

        ‘Shit,’ I thought, finally comprehending the magnitude of my actions, ‘What the hell’d I do that for? What’s wrong with me?’ My eyes began to water. That was my virginity. Something I’d never get back. How could I be so rash, so spiteful? How could I let myself drink so much, become so vulnerable, and give myself to someone I barely knew?

        I pulled myself up out of the bush. Archie, or whatever his name was, must have dumped me here after he was ‘done’ with me, I realized in disgust. I was barely human to him, apparently, just a disposable doll. I was appalled to notice that he must have also taken my undergarments as some sort of sick prize.

        I peered down the road, trying to see if my car was still parked there, but it was nowhere to be found. Something that resembled a ticket seemed to be fastened to a tree around where I’d left my Vauxhall. It must have been towed.

        “Stupid, stupid, stupid,” I whispered aloud. I was now stranded here, with no car, no shoes, and no underwear. And who could I call? Certainly not Kevin, who would probably rather shoot me now than pick me up from a strange place. Not my father, who was more than likely in a state unfit to drive and who had no car to speak of anyways. I hadn’t talked to any of my high school friends in years, there was no time between work, taking care of my father, and Kevin. I was completely and utterly alone.

        I decided to sit on a nearby rock and gather my thoughts, but all I really succeeded in doing was weeping.

        Suddenly, I thought I heard the faint hum of a motor in the distance. Immediately I perked up, maybe they would be willing to give me a ride back home or to pick up my car wherever it had been towed to.

        However, as I squinted, I realized in horror that this was Kevin’s car. I was frozen in fear. He’d never been violent towards me before, but when he got angry it wasn’t unusual for him to come close to it. I felt almost nauseous. Why did I have to do all this? I just as easily could have walked into the bedroom to humiliate him. How could I have been so stupid to think that this was a good idea?

        I tried to run into the woods around the road, but it was too late. The car was too close, he’d already seen me, and Kevin the athlete would easily be able to outrun me. Still, I ran.

        I heard a car door slam, and then footsteps pounding the earth behind me.

        “Where the fuck you think you’re going, then? Goddamn whore!” he bellowed. I didn’t dare look back. I could sense the distance between us quickly shrinking, when I tripped on a root and came crashing to the ground. There was no hope now.

        “Get up.” he snarled. But I couldn’t bring myself to, and I cowered facedown in the dirt.

        “I said get up, fuckin’ slag!” he yelled at the top of his lungs, and I slowly stood up. I couldn’t bring myself to look him in the eye.

        “Look at me when I’m talking to you!” Kevin spat. I weakly met his eyes, which were fiery with rage. Still, I said nothing.

        “What the hell were you fuckin’ thinking, coming out here and fuckin’ another man? And you wouldn’t give me anything either!” he punched a tree near him, jaw clenched. “Fuckin’ hell. Rob told me everything. He saw what you did in that car. You’re a cheap slag, a whore, that’s what you are.”

        Though the words hurt, I scrambled to think of a response. I must have taken too long to reply, because Kevin suddenly reached out and gave me a blow to the face, knocking me to the ground. I lay there in shock, not believing what he’d just done. There would most certainly be a fat ugly bruise there soon, and I already felt a lump growing just underneath my eye.

        “Kevin, I-” I sputtered weakly, but he cut me off.

        “I don’t want to hear your excuses, girl. You’re rubbish, that’s all you’ll ever fuckin’ be. You’ll never get another guy like me anyway,” he spat on me before turning and storming away.

        “Go to hell, Cora.” he muttered as he went. I heard the car door slam and his engine roar as he sped away.

        So I lay there, much like I did just ten minutes before. I curled myself up in a ball and wept, shuddering. My head still ached, but now added to it was the throbbing pain of the welt left on my cheek from Kevins’ strike. My dress was ruined, and I was covered in dirt. My world held a sharp contrast to the bright new day beginning around me- mine was dark, hopeless, and pathetic. I was disgusted with myself and with the men who had both left me here.

        And I was alone.