Facing The Past (MattTord)

Chapter 5: I Beg For Forgiveness

Tom put out a hand before my eyes, trying to help me up. At first, I refused. Mostly because I didn't trust him. But then I saw a light glimmer in his eyes. A trusting glow. So then I gave my hand to him, being pulled up to my feet. Tom looked me in the eyes; the same way that Matt looked at me the first time he saw me. Concerned.

I just stood there, my eyes fixed onto his. The light that radiated inside his dull black eyes pulled me in, fixating me. He huffed and turned away, breaking the invisible bond between us. As soon as he saw Edd he fell to his knees, sobbing. I kneeled by his side, feeling a sense of sorrow and rage. Sorrow towards Tom. Rage towards myself.

I softly grabbed Tom's hand and picked him up, smiling softly. He looked away from me, crying more. I then brought him into a tight hug, patting his back. At first, he didn't seem to appreciate it. But then he hugged me back, crying softly into my chest. I then kissed him on the forehead, trying to show sympathy.

It didn't work. Tom became flustered and pushed me away violently, wiping his tears away. I fell backwards into a table, bleeding from my head. I sat up, a throbbing pain in the back of my head. It started its course to the front of my head, making me whimper in pain. Tom looked at me in anger and disappointment.

"Why do you have to always make things weird Commie?!" Tom asked loudly, his voice echoing through the room. I got up in pain, holding the back of my head. Blood trickled down onto my hand, staining it a scarlet colour. I looked down at my hand, then back up at Tom.

"I was trying to show sympathy..." I uttered, turning away slowly. I went to leave the room and see if Matt was okay. 

Just before I limped out the door I felt a hand on my arm. I turned around and saw Tom was holding me, his eyes filled with tears. I didn't want to cry. But his eyes. His sad eyes. I brought him into a hug, the blood still rolling down my neck. He hugged me back almost instantly, crying into my shoulder. I patted his back softly, tousling his hair. 

"Do you forgive me? For what I did 7 months ago?" I asked softly, looking Tom in the eyes. He nodded, crying into my chest more. I kept hugging him, smiling softly. 

After a few minutes, Tom fell asleep in my arms, smiling softly. I couldn't help but gaze at him. He looked really cute when he slept. I felt his hands pulling on my hoodie, trying to get warm. So I gave him the hoodie, wrapping him in it. He smiled at the warmth, purring softly. I placed him down on an empty hospital bed, pulling the blank white sheets over him. I kissed him on the forehead, smiling softly.

"Sleep well, Tom..." I smiled, patting his head for the last time. I left the room and saw Matt, crying harder than before. He was holding a box cutter in his hand, blood dripping off the sharp point of the blade. He was looking down at his arm, crying in pain. When a tear fell onto his arm he screeched in agony, tugging on his hair. He was torturing himself. But why? Why would he torture himself in this way? I decided to go ask.

I sat next to Matt, placing a hand on his shoulder. He turned to face me, hiding his arm quickly under the sleeve of his hoodie.

"Oh um... hi Tord..." Matt whimpered softly, wiping his tears away. Blood started to seep through his clothing, proving his plan to hide it was a mere failure. I looked at him with a shade of concern tinged in my eye.

"Why are you torturing yourself?"  I asked softly, lifting his injured arm up. He winced in pain, looking away. I rolled the sleeve up and there it was. His arm. Full of cuts that were bleeding heavily. He looked back at me, tears in the corner of his eyes.

"Please don't be mad! I was trying to ease my pain! I'm sorry!" Matt cried, sobbing heavily into his other hand. I smiled and kissed him on the cheek, looking down at his arm.

"Why would I be mad?" I asked, looking at Matt with a tone of fear, trying not to show it. Matt shook his head and looked away, trembling slightly.

"You've gotten mad in the past... you verbally abused Tom, punched me and broke Edd... You don't know how much damage you've done... do you?" Matt asked, his voice trembling with sorrow, fear and rage. I nodded softly.

"I know what I've done... and I'm sorry. Look, you already forgave me... Tom forgave me-" I whimpered softly. I was interrupted by Matt's piercing yells.

"But Edd hasn't forgiven you, has he?! No! He can't! You put him in a coma! You did this! You destroyed our happy family! You've ruined everything! Just like you always do!" Matt exclaimed, his figure looming over me. His shadow morphed into some kind of figurative monster, its dark fangs ready to kill me. Just like Matt had become a monster in my eyes. Shattering my heart into a million pieces; breaking it in his rough hands.

I shook my head in fear, trying to back away. But I was on the chair. I couldn't flee. Matt loomed closer and closer, baring his teeth more. He raised a fist into the air, waiting before he smashed it down onto my face. A dark purple bruise formed around my eye, making me blind with tears. He slapped me across the face, leaving a red mark on my face. I cried out in pain, holding my head in my hands.

Mat launched kicks and punches towards my body, making me grunt in agony. I was screaming for help. But nobody came. Nobody came to help me. Bruises formed all over my body, blood streaming from my nose and tears from my eyes.