"BreakUp"
What an easy word to tell..
And how many feeling strikes in you when you say this word.
What happened to you when you've been through this breakup!
This small word who hold damage,
pain,
depression,
problems,
and heart ache.
It's hard to tell someone what this "breakup" destroyed in you,
what changed in you,
what broke in you.
In seconds you can breakup and it takes weeks,
months and sometimes years to heal from this pain.
When the person who was once your "other half" decide to let you go, you feel something undescripable,
something that you can't handle,
something so bad, so much pain.
You think that how he can do something like this to you.
How can he see you hurt? in pain? and heartbroken?
This person who was once your world, your beautiful fairytale, now he's letting you believe that fairytales don't exist.
This person who you was depending on him, is leaving now.
He's leaving far, far from you.
And later you feel that you don't need him, and you don't want someone else except him.
This feeling is not easy.
They say time heals everything,
but sometimes what hurts can never be healed unless the one who hurted you come and fix what's broken.
In the "breakup" time, you become friends with pain, with the loneliness.
And how much your friends come and comfort you,
you wish that he's the one who's comforting you,
who's hugging you,
who's kissing you on forehead and telling you that everything will be fine.
You say to them that you're fine,
but
inside you're dying.
This pain is killing you.
This "breakup" is killing you.
You try to convince yourself that he left, and everything ended now, but in this moment you see his shadow appearing in house's corners.
You remember how beautiful his smile was,
and how priceless his laughter was when you tell him a joke.
You remember how his face appears angelic while he's sleeping.
At night, million of thoughts start to strike in your head.
Like is he sleeping now?
Is he alone? Or with someone else?
Is he at home?
You grab your phone and think
if you'll call him will he be upset on you?
Or if some girl respond on his phone
what will happen in you?
And in the end you throw your phone away without callin.
Maybe you don't want to end up disappointed.
How hard it is to search for something that you can't reach.
My life is still stucked in that day,
that day when we both chose another paths,
and separated.
That day when all my life ended.
That day when i lost everything i have.
That day when i lost you.
My chest tightens everytime his memories cloud in my mind.
It's so hard to lose the person you love the most.
The person when everytime you hear his name you feel butterflies.
You feel that your soul is here, next to you, holding you tight to his chest; that's when you feel safe.
He's your safety.
He was my safety.
He left.
Without a word, he left.
My safety walked away without turning back.
Without asking if i was okay with him to leave me.
And to leave everything.
