You And Me

Still Holding On

I lay in my bed still in tears I hurt myself everyday like she once did just to heal my broken heart but it just made it worse I thought to myself I deserve this pain I deserve it because of what I did to Ace and I just hurt everybody I'm so dumb,stupid,bitchy,crybaby,loser,weak,pathetic,a screw up and desperate I kept saying it in my head everyday as the rose petals die it hurt so much missing her she was not with me I've been hurt so much I could not take it no more as tears flowed down my face crying like crazy my heart felt so damn broken it hurt to breathe it hurt to speak it even hurt to think of her everything I did reminded me of her as I used to always laugh with her and we used to have so much fun together I always tried to make her jealous sometimes teasing her a bit but all of that has disappeared and it hurt me a lot it felt like I was bleeding from my heart all the way out it hurt so much I could not believe how painful it was I squeezed the sheets missing her so bad I just wanted her head on mine well I cried in her shoulder I just wanted to run away to the 404 and pack my suitcase and run to her house but I did not know were she was all I knew was she lived near the 404 that's all I was told and the person that used to work with her is not working with her anymore it hurt because that was the only contact I had with her and now I don't know how she is or what's happening to her I cried in my bed listening to a song singing it missing her so freaking much as I touched the sheets slowly gliding my hand on it as I clenched my fist grabbing the covers tight.