All I Have to Give

Chapter 1

The house was silent as Rachel packed up the last of her things into a box, trying to finish the task that she should've finished the night before.  Early mornings were never meant to be productive, at least not in her opinion.  She frowned as she ran a hand over her face, exhausted from hours of last minute packing.  Procrastination was Rachel's kryptonite. Instead of spending the night finishing her packing, she chose to sit on the computer and chat with her friends.  She had to admit that it wasn't her best plan of action.  Now she was stuck doing it all with less than four hours of sleep.  There wasn't enough coffee in the world to keep her awake at this point.

Daylight was just starting to break as she taped up the last box and stood back onto her feet. Rachel placed her hands on her hips and softly sighed. Her body ached for sleep but she couldn't stop now.  She still needed to put these boxes into the trailer so she could get on the road.  Stretching her stiff muscles, she slowly looked around at the room that had become her personal sanctuary all through high school. The walls were completely bare and the mood seemed depressing and heartbreaking. This wasn't just a bedroom to her.  This was the place she hid to escape the chaos in her life.  It was the place she wrote all her books, held slumber parties, and watched countless hours of MTV videos.  This bedroom was the only safe haven she had and she was leaving it to embark onto the next chapter of her life...college.  It almost seemed unreal that this day had finally come. It was bittersweet and Rachel couldn't decide if she was happy or terrified to be leaving.  Either way, she knew it was the right decision.

A chilly draft slithered across her back and Rachel shivered lightly as she walked to her window. She quietly closed it and turned the lock.  She closed her eyes at the touch of the cold glass against her fingertips. For a moment, she felt numb and heavy in her legs. She didn't want to move from her spot. If she moved, everything would become real and her life would change dramatically. As much as she knew that change is what she needed, she couldn't help but fear that things would crumble beneath her. All of her life, she had been painfully alone and forced to grow up quickly. She was never allowed to be herself or even make mistakes.  Everything she did had to fit perfectly into a mold for her life or she'd suffer the consequences. 

Rachel's borrow furrowed deeply as a sudden wave of anxiety hit her fiercely and  was the doubts of her decision to move to Florida swam through her head. She knew moving away was the answer, but she had doubts that things would work out the way they were planned.  Plans had fallen through before and luck has never been on her side.  She swallowed back the rise of uneasiness within her chest as she thought about all the possibilities of things going wrong once she arrived.  It was almost too scary to think about.  For once, she just wanted to have things go her way.  It was something she felt she deserved.

Rachel exhaled quietly as she pressed her nose against the glass, her breath softly fogging against her lips. She looked out at the driveway and saw her car sitting alone on the pavement. Another sigh escaped her lips as she noticed the touch of frost on the hood. It was barely August and it was obvious that fall was coming early in the Missouri region. The thought of cold weather approaching made her smirk of the idea of sunshine and beaches coming her way. It was at that moment that she assured herself that her decision was the right one. She had to get out of that house. There was no other way around it. If she stayed there any longer, she knew she would be swallowed into the darkness of her mother's own personal misery. It was time to take control of her own life.  It was time to be free.

Rachel stepped away from the window and walked to her closet. It was completely bare except for a few wire hangers lightly dangling from the rod. Running her hand over the shelf, she stood up on her tiptoes to make sure she didn't leave anything behind.  Slowly lowering herself back down, she sighed as she glanced at the full length mirror on the door.  Aside from the box, it was the last thing to take with her. Rachel studied her reflection in the mirror, frowning a little as she smoothed out her hair.. Her slender, 5'1" frame stood meekly in front of  her as she observed her black leggings and blue tank top.  She stared into her own dark blue eyes and pursed her lips as she slid her purple scrunchie off her wrist and pulled her long, brown hair into a messy bun. Her doubt began to creep over her again as she constructed a plan to remove the mirror from the door. Her fingers traced over the chipping pink paint on the frame as she gripped the mirror tightly.  With a touch of frustration, she grabbed the edges of the door and carefully peeled it off the door. The adhesive tape crackled as she pulled it a little harder but the bottom right corner was refusing to give. Rachel grunted as she pried the it off with a loud pop.  She closed her eyes at the sound and stepped away from the door with the mirror in her grip. Rachel sighed of relief as she opened her eyes to see that the mirror remained undamaged in her hands.  She quietly stepped into the dark hallway and made her way to the front door with the mirror, making it a priority to not break it on her way to the car.