Wanderlust

26. Woe

Describing myself as a hollow, sad shell would be an understatement right now.

For some reason, I wasn't weeping and it was shocking. Probably, the grief was so much to handle that I couldn't bring myself to cry.

Jean was constantly sobbing next to me, which was acceptable for a woman in her state, but right now I didn't need that.

It was selfish and inhumane of me to think that but for once I wished someone would be there to comfort me and not the other way round.

Jean probably understood or so I wished, because she stopped sobbing and moved away slightly before getting up completely and calling someone, perhaps Josh.

The doctor had allowed us to check up on Everest in the morgue after we'd requested.
We waited for them to call us.

Honestly though, I didn't know if I wanted to see the lifeless body of Everest.

Robin arrived about five minutes later and he hugged me before Jean who had never been weaker.

Leaving him and Josh, who managed to take a break to see Jean, I go to the hospital's washroom.

The cubicles were more spacious than I expected them to be.
Locking myself in one of them, I let go of the tears that were getting unbearable to hold.

The lump in my throat grew more and more painful every second. Trying to swallow wasn't a good idea so I didn't even bother. A train of tears cascaded down my face - in the dent under my eyeball, across my cheekbone and finally falling down my chin.

And although I knew crying at this point was totally pointless, I couldn't bring myself to stop.

I felt like I would choke on the lump but I found myself just letting everything pour out of my eyes.

There was no more Everest.

Did anyone have the ability to fathom the enormity of an Everestless world besides me?

Jean... Obviously her, Aaron, she's his mother!

I started to have trouble breathing. My heart felt tied, my ribs felt like they were tightening - as if the world was closing up on me

Closing my eyes as the tears kept rolling down my cheeks, I rested his head against the plastic of the door.

Why was this happening?

Couldn't this be a dream?

What if it was a dream? Was I supposed to wake up any second now?

And then the million dollar question: Why couldn't I spend more time with Everest, create more happy memories, live happily ever after?

I, at that moment, just wished that the last time we talked was not of me cheating on him.

This was terrible.

After staying there for ten more minutes, I finally mustered the strength to get out and see the limp body of my once lover.

The unnameable feeling in the pit of my stomach turned into something unbearable when I stood across Everest's body.

He looked so relaxed it sickened me.

His hands lay still next to his frame, eyes closed forever, the skin a little red still.

So, it was real.
It was all real.
Real as it gets.
It was so real it hurt.

Real.
Real.
Real.
Real.
Real.
Real.

Shit... It's real.

Everest is no more.

When I started writing this story, I had so many plans for this particular chapter. Like, I wanted it to be emotional, something that would make you readers feel something's loss.

But I don't really know how it turned out, so yeah... Everest is no more.