Becoming the Lost

Prologue

❤️ Tony Stark 💛

Tony was someone who's mind made up millions of scenarios, and then would prepare for each one. He would plan it all out, make sure he had some way to stop it from happening. He suffered from anxiety, and worried a lot because of it. But the thing was, when you have anxiety, you only think of the millions of possibilities that could go wrong.

Tony had never imagined that this could happen. Never in all the scenarios his brain had made had this been one of them. Even in the past eight and a half months had he really thought about this actually being a possibility. Not until now.

He ran down the hall of the hospital, looking for the room where Pepper was supposed to be. Happy had called him, given his the number of the room, and told him to get here as soon as possible. Tony had been in the middle of a meeting but he knew this was more important. Pepper was more important.

The anxiety of the whole situation was building in his chest. He hurried down the hall, all he could hear was the sound of his feet hitting the ground, his heart pounding in his chest, and the blood rushing in his ears. He didn't know which was louder and didn't spend too much time trying to decide which was the loudest.

Especially when the cry that echoed through the hall sounded. Tony nearly tripped over his own two feet upon hearing the sound. It was filled with anguish and sorrow. It sounded like Pepper.

Tony could feel his heart breaking as the sound repeated itself in his mind. His brain instantly started thinking of all the things that could have gone wrong. What could have made Pepper cry out like that? Never had she cried out like that.

Tony instantly put on a new burst of speed. He ran faster than he had ever run before, desperate to get to the woman he loved. The woman who sounded to be in so much pain.

Tony's heart beat a mile a minute and he came to a stop in front of Pepper's hospital room. His eyes instantly went to the crying woman who lied in the bed. She looked so defeated. So upset. The usually upbeat woman looked as if she wished she could wither away where she now lied.

Happy was beside her, refusing to look anywhere but the floor. He had tears in his eyes that he was trying to hold back. Tony's heart sank even more. Happy was not the type of man who would cry.

Tony looked at the doctors, about to ask them what was going on, but the words were caught in his throat. They wore the same sorrow filled eyes that Happy had. But among the sorrow was pity. Pity for Pepper and pity for Tony.

The air was heavy, which made it hard for Tony to breathe. His stomach and heart were sinking and fear filled his body. He had no control over his body as he slowly turned to look at where Pepper lied. She was still crying which seemed to be the only sound Tony could hear.

As soon as he looked at her, his heart stopped. His blood turned to ice. His stomach felt as if it were being squished. His knees threatened to give out.

Pepper held a small bundle in her arms. A bundle that did not move, that did not cry, that did not breathe. A small bundle that was supposed to be a child. Tony's child. But it was a small bundle that was dead.

Tony could feel the tears gather in his eyes. This child was supposed to grow up, have a life full of adventures. The child was supposed to experience love and be loved. But it had all been taken away after a few minutes of being here.

This child was going to open a new world for Tony, one he hadn't ever thought existed for him. So close to this new world, this world of being a father, and it was all gone. The world collapsing before him with no way for him to stop it from happening. For that world was already gone. Crushed and made into dust.

For a minute, Tony just stared. Ryder, was going to be the name for this child if he were a boy, Roxy for a girl. Now though, it was nothing but a name that would appear on a grave stone. A name that would cause Tony to choke up every time he heard it. A name that now weighed down on his shoulders as he thought about what could have been.

Tony could feel the sorrow building up in his chest. Sorrow that slowly turned to anger. How could he let this happen? It was so unfair. Tony had lost so many people in his life, he didn't deserve to lose someone else. Especially when that someone else was supposed to be his son.

"Do something!" Tony turned to the doctors, furious that they had let this happen. They were supposed to save lives, they were supposed to be able to do something. "Don't just stand there! You're wasting time we don't have!" With each sentence, Tony took a threatening step towards the doctors who stood in the corner of the room.

"I'm sorry Mr Stark, we've done all that we-"

"Bull shit." Tony said angrily. "If you did all that you could then my child would be alive right now!" He pointed back at the bed as he spoke. He was so torn up about this that he had to take it out on someone. Anyone. He just had to have someone to blame.

He went to take another step towards them, but this time, there was a hand holding him back. Happy was holding him back. Tony tried to break out of the hold, he wanted to take out his frustrations, his anger at the whole situation. But now he couldn't. All he could do was yell.

This fury would not leave Tony for a couple of hours. It would only leave him when he was standing before a broken crib, one that he would smash and take his frustrations out on. Then he would back up until his back hit the wall. Only then would the sorrow return, along with the full realization of what happened. Only then would he sink down to the floor and actually allow himself to cry.

💛❤️💙

(1090 words)