The Lady in Yellow: A Victorian Gothic Paranormal Romance

Sixty-Three

She spent much of the winter in the Lady Chapel. Comforted by the stillness, warmed by the hundreds of candles that glowed wetly in the underwater light of the stained glass windows, she prayed.

The kind face of the Holy Virgin with her little Christ Child looked down from the altar. Why had Veronica been denied the promise implied in that most primal of images? Why did God allow Satan to contaminate His creation? Why did God allow the germ of evil to destroy it from within?

In a sometimes frozen daze of disbelief at what she'd gone through at Belden House, Veronica contemplated these questions and many others. And what had she become? Was she truly a nun, or merely an escapist? Her innocence had been her badge of purity, but it had been the purity of a child, a child who'd been raised in a convent at that. Was it possible to grow to adulthood without knowing evil? It seemed that consciousness of evil allowed it some egress into the soul, to stain, to taint, to corrupt... like the vampyre who, once seen, sees, and considers that acknowledgment, no matter how brief or unintended, an invitation.

Enveloped in smoke and candle fire, Veronica trembled. She felt as if she were at the dark leaden heart of the world.

"Holy Virgin, please have mercy on me. Set my feet aright. Guide me away from the path that winds before me into..."

Where?

She didn't have the courage to name it.

***

It was a bright sunny day when Veronica stepped out of the cathedral to find Janet sitting under a dripping yew tree in the nuns' graveyard. Busy watching a large crow flapping its wings at the top of a headstone, the maid didn't see Veronica come out. Despite the snow and slush, Janet seemed quite at home on the bench, as if she'd been sitting there all day.

"My goodness, Janet? What are you doing here?" Veronica asked.

At the sight of Veronica, Janet stood up. "Oh, Miss. Good day to you."

"How did you know I was in the cathedral?"

"The head nun told me where to find you." Janet was flustered and kept looking at her wet shoes. "I came on behalf of Mr. Rafe."

"You must be freezing. Come on. Let's go inside. There's a small sitting room where we won't be disturbed."

The crow swooped up to perch on a low branch. It cawed loudly at Veronica's back as she hurried Janet through the side door of the abbey. At the end of the hallway was a cozy little room with a coal fire in the hearth. They sat in opposite wing chairs. Veronica was amazingly happy to see Janet who kept smiling and finally laughing as if she were amazingly happy as well.

"It's so good to see you, Miss Everly. You do make a lovely nun, I must say, though Mr. Rafe was ever so upset you'd done it."

"It's not quite done yet," Veronica said. "I still have a month before I commit to anything, and even then..." What was she saying? "What's the latest news from Belden House?"

Janet grew flustered again. "Miss, I... Could you...? Well... Mr. Rafe..."

"Go on."

"I know it was wrong of me, but I read your letter. Though I don't let on, I can read well enough. I found it blowing over the lawn where Mr. Rafe had dropped it, you see, before he stalked off into the woods like the doom was upon him. I was afraid of what he might do with that pistol of his. He doesn't know I've come looking for you, Miss." Janet looked up with pleading eyes, then glanced out the window where the bare trees swayed in the gusty winds. "All he does is ride. He saddles his favorite horse, that big, black charger, and rides out over the moors, not coming home until dawn. Like poor, mad Tristan he is. Lost his wits, I'd say. With all due respect."