Honeydew (ereri)

Chapter Five

~Levi's POV~

My bag was still opened as I bolted through the hallway with tears streaming down my face. My notebooks and folders flew out while I left them behind. I saw Erwin run past me with a concerned look on his face and then stopped himself.

"Yo Ackerman! Where you headed? Are you okay?"

I ignored his yells of consideration as I stormed through the doors into the wide area outside. The clouds have darkened more sense yesterday and a light drizzle had been accompanied by it. I slowed in my tracks purposely to get soaked by the rain. 

Personally, I enjoyed the rain. It made me feel like I wasn't the only one crying. Like I wasn't alone with the problems I was facing and only the tearful sky could relate to me. 

Slugging through the rain, I checked my phone and the time was 12:30, literature was soon coming to an end. My second day at a new school...they already knew I was gay. I couldn't even stop myself subconsciously from lying to myself. This school isn't the pathetic one, I am.

I took my time arriving at the dorms. My uniform was wet, my bag was drenched. Every bit of clothing. 

Why do I hate myself for doing this? Why am I being so effected by this?

While contemplating, I made my way to my room. 

All this crying and rethinking my life is tiring. I hadn't done those two in a while, and it makes me feel an uncomfortable amount of emptiness. Like a hole, in which I honestly don't know what could be filled. 

As I walked into my room, I noticed my clock and Music Theory should be starting by now. I couldn't focus on classes right now,  I couldn't focus on anything at this point. 

Seating myself on the rug ground, I hugged my knees trying to regain my composure. My hand reached for my instrument's case. I unzipped the zipper and slowly handled my ukulele with as much care as possible. Without my headphone, I began to play the same song that I played both yesterday and this morning. However, I started with the second verse. 

"Turn off your porcelain face, I can't really think right now and this place."

Why isn't this working...

"Has too many colours enough to drive all of us insane ."

I can't stop crying...

"Are you dead? Sometimes I think I'm dead."

Why aren't I escaping from reality...

"Cause I can feel ghosts and ghouls wrapping my head."

My own fucking method isn't helping me...

"But I don't wanna fall asleep just yet..."

Why...

"WHY GOD FUCKING DAMNIT!"

Not even realizing it, I grab the neck of the ukulele and smash the body of it. Splinters sprayed everywhere as the instrument broke into a million pieces of wood. The strings curled up leaving the rest of the instrument a mess of wood chips. 

"Why...please." 

I laid on my side, still shivering from my damp clothing. The water seeped into the rug, along with my endless stream of tears. It felt as if a pair of invisible hands were gutting me from the inside creating a chaos of unfiltered emotions. My head wanted to explode, like an egg in a microwave. 

"I don't like...this feeling..."

Curling up onto a ball, I whimper in the death bed of my only savior; my instrument. 

Minutes ticked by while I hadn't moved from my spot. Trying to fall into an unconscious state of sleep, I let my eyelids drop.

~Eren's POV~               :O

I barged open the door to find Levi soaked in water and weeping on the floor.

"Levi! Are you okay, please speak to me!" I screamed while my words brimmed with worry.

"I don't wanna talk anymore...No one wants to talk to me...I don't wanna be here anymore...I want to stop lying to myself that I'm fine with this..." the boy murmur with his eyes closed.

Thank goodness he's alive.

I looked next to him to find his ukulele smashed and scattered among the floor.

"Levi, don't say that. I wanna talk to you, I promise. I really do!" I said in a soft voice trying to sound comforting.

"Okay Eren, since you wanna talk to me...ask me something... anything."

"Oh okay...um, what's your favorite...song?

"You already heard it yesterday...This is Home..."

"That's my favorite song too!"

"Eren. Stop talking to me like I'm some kindergartener, 'This is Home' isn't your favorite song."

I stayed silent knowing his words were actually true.

"Where do you wanna go when you're older than? Huh Levi? Could be a college, a city, anywhere."

"I wanna go to...to the beach. I want to feel the waters wash up against my ankles and smell nothing but the salty air. The beach...I wanna go there..."

His words were so simple, but why did they mean so much when coming out of his mouth?

"Levi...I wanna know everything about you. Just tell me anything, I don't care what it is. I just wanna know the real Levi Ackerman."

"Honeydew..."

"Honey...dew?"

"Yeah honeydew, it's my favorite food. It's that small green melon."

"Of all things to say, you told me your favorite food honeydew?"

"I like it because it's not a favorite among people. Others see it as their 'second choice'. Kinda like me, it's not as sweet compared to other fruits. I'm an outsider, that's all. It just...reminds me of myself for some reason..."

I honestly don't know what to say. While Levi stayed curled up, I search up  his favorite song on my phone. The room's silence was then filled with an instrumental cover of "This is Home." Levi's cries soon subsided and he perked his head up to look at me. 

The boy then lifting his head and sniffled while looking at me. The next words that came out his mouth made my heart warm up only a little bit.

"Eren...will you be my friend? Like an actual friend."

"Of course I will."

The boy then tossed himself on me while wrapping both arms around my neck. He held on tight for longer than your average hug and I loved it, every second of it.