Goofy's Story

You're the pain

You ever meet someone who changes your life so much? One stranger that turns into everything you could've ever asked for. Yeah, that's who you were to me, you were my everything. You know the saying "It hurts to let go, but sometimes it hurts worse to hold on", this quote is dedicated to you dear friend. But it's so hard to walk away from you knowing you won't chase after me. I met you when I was at one of the lowest points in my life. I was so desperate for love and attention and you gave me just that, well, maybe just that attention part. We talked for so long, day and night. We got so close and shared things with each other that no other person knew. You got to know the real me which very few people get to know, because as you know, I am extremely shy. You were never actually mine and I could never actually call you that but I was such an optimistic person, I had my fingers crossed. Ah you see, I said was, now I just see the worst in people. I told everyone about you, I talked about you like you were the star of my favorite movie, and I couldn't get enough of you. One day I sucked everything up and told you exactly how I felt about you and I don't think I ever felt so happy when you said you felt the same way. Everything was absolutely great. But one day, out of the blue, you just vanished out of my life. I literally felt my heart crack and shatter into a million pieces. I thought everything was my fault and I had ruined everything we had gained, that I had ruined us. I tried to confront you and ask you if I had done something to push you in an opposite direction, but once again, I got no answer. Four months later I found out that you were in a relationship, I was hurt in ways I never thought I could be hurt. I was depressed for so long and yearned for something, anything from you. I didn't want to except the fact that we were strangers again. And then one day it was like a miracle happened. I check my phone and saw the one message I had been waiting weeks, no, months for. It was like every bit of sad just faded away. I could see every ray of sunshine again and I was beyond happy. The next month or so was some sort of happy blur. It was like you picked up every single piece of my heart and glued it back together into one again. You were so sweet and caring towards me and that was all I could've asked for. You were no longer a stranger to me and I was so grateful for that. I could feel all the feelings rush back to me once again, and we ended up getting to know each other on a whole other level. The 3 AM conversations we shared, you were so honest with me and told me so many things I knew were very personal to you. I was finally at peace again. I was happy with myself and I didn't feel so dark inside because now you were back in my life. I guess my hopes up because one day, one stupid day, the universe decided to ruin my life once again. I'm still confused as to why the universe brings two people together just to rip them apart. It just wouldn't let me stay happy for once... or maybe that was just you. I was stupid enough to let you back in my life after the first time but it's not going to happen again. I never should have let you come back, what a stupid mistake. But bravo Goofy, it felt like you shaddered my heart again. But I wasn't heart broken this time, I was just numb because when you crushed me, you took my heart with you this time. I am still hurt though, and my brain doesn't let me forget you as much as I want to. I just want you to leave and take every single memory and conversation we've ever shared with you. I mean, you are my 3AM thoughts, and it hurts to wait for someone who is never coming back. So, just leave for real this time. God, I say that and my gut feeling tells me no but I know it's the right thing. It hurts to hold on to you, and the memories and the conversations, so now it's time to let go. I know it's going to hurt for a bit but I know I will feel better. So this is me telling you goodbye. I thought you understood what you did to me after the first time but clearly you didn't, I mean how stupid could you be. We talked about all of this, multiple time and I forgave you, I fucking forgave you. And yet you still choose to turn around and walk away. I'm done trying to chase you, I'm tired of waiting, and I'm hurting holding on to you. So goodbye Goofy, this is part where we become strangers once again.