Aftershocks ➳ Philkas/Eyewitness

17

Episode 17: Crossfire

Walking through the school's doors on Monday feels like entering a warzone. Gawking stares cut through Lukas's skin like bullets, and he can't escape the crossfire of whispers that erupts around him like an explosion. He tries to block out the noise by popping in his earbuds and letting Philip's playlist play on his phone. He quickly grabs his books from his locker and immediately walks to his first class upstairs: chemistry.

Lukas sits in the back row of seats in the classroom, next to the window, and ignores the other students as they file inside one-by-one. He crosses his arms over his desk and rests his chin, staring blankly at his phone screen. The slight glow makes his eyes burn; he hasn't slept well over the past few days.

He absentmindedly scrolls through the countless unopened texts on his phone. All of his friends have been messaging him all weekend wondering what the fuck happened at Ally's party. He hasn't gathered the courage to reply to any of them— and even if he wanted to, he wouldn't know what to say.

It's not like he's ashamed to be open with Philip or that he regrets kissing him in front of everyone. It's just— he wishes the whole thing didn't have to become a conversation. He wishes his friends could just accept it and return to normalcy. It doesn't have to be a whole ordeal.

While he waits for class to start, he opens all his messages. There's twenty-three of them. Seven from Ally, three from Ethan, two from Jillian, four from Isaac, six from Keaton, and one from his dad. He clicks on the text from his dad and feels his stomach drop sharply.

Are you coming home? We need to talk.

Lukas's fingers hover over the keyboard for a few seconds, contemplating how to reply. He stayed at Gabe and Helen's house all weekend and never bothered telling his father. He wonders if he knows what happened at the party. Bo is friends with most of the parents of Lukas's friends, and Tivoli is a small town. Gossip spreads quickly.

Suddenly, a new message from Philip pops up on the top of his screen. A small, subtle smile tugs on his lip as his eyes scan across it.

From Philip: Hope you have a good day. Text me if you wanna ditch. I love you. ♥️

Lukas bites his lip and quickly texts back a response.

To Philip: Love u too. ♥️

"Hey," a familiar voice says out loud, drawing his attention away from his phone.

He takes out his earbuds and looks up to see Ethan sitting next to him. He looks uncomfortable, like he's tiptoeing on broken glass. Fuck, Lukas thinks to himself. He forgot they were chemistry lab partners.

"Hi," Lukas says awkwardly, avoiding eye contact.

He stares at the periodic table sign at the front of the classroom. Hydrogen, Helium, Lithium... he counts the elements in his head. Anything to avoid this conversation.

"How are you?" Ethan asks simply.

Lukas wishes the ground would swallow him whole. He wants to disappear. None of this is fair at all. Why is everyone else's sexuality considered normal, but his has to become a whole ordeal?

"Fine," Lukas answers simply.

"Listen, the gang and I wanna talk to you about what happened at the party," Ethan says, surprisingly calm.

Lukas avoids Ethan's gaze, tearing at a hangnail on his thumb. He stares at the scribbles and engravings on his desk. He doesn't say anything.

"Meet us after school, at the tunnel," Ethan insists.