don't leave me (pepsicola one shot )

 so yeah i don't write very often and usually when i do i never finish. so like i said in the description i really don't mean to offened anybody.. that goes for both homophobic and homosexual alike. or anyone who self harms or anyone else inbetween, i really just don't wanna offend anybody or anyone or anything. i'm sorry for everything i misspell and all the times i don't use a captial letter where there needs to be one.

_____________________________________________________________________________

  He was standing there.. in the dark, and the rain, just outside john's house. He felt like an idiot. That's right, dave strider felt like an idiot. He was tossing rocks outside john's window, can you believe it.. it was just so ironic... he should love it, but of course, it was the worst, the actual worst... he had felt worse than he ever had in his entire life, a life that had already felt over. He had let down his best freind, his boyfriend, the only one that had been there with him though think and thin...

dave didn't deserve john's love.. but then again, he never did. But what he did this time was w

orse, so much worse. He was so damn obessesed with looking cool, that was all that had ever mattered to him, so when they started going out, he made john keep it a secrect...which the sweet little shit was cool with for quite a long time. He was fine with the fact that if he were to wave to him during school, dave would just give him a weird look and walk away. He knew that dave and his freinds did and said awful things to him and his friends even when he wasn't there.. john got beaten for him several times.. and after dave was done cheering them on he would rush over to john's house to help him though the injuries that he had caused.. but he never minded, he never cared about any of it. Dave knew what he was doing was fucked up, that he was being a coward.. but it wasn't until a few weeks ago that he realized that after it all john was slowly giving up.. and that, in that one day, he could simply turn around and say he had enough. That it look was one sentence, one minute, one single last wrong doing for him to lose what mattered most to him in the world. That day that they all ganged up on him in the middle of the hallways, they had never done it quite like this, they always just showed up behind lockers right before class started, or in the locker room, no one ever saw, and it was no words, just a few bruises and it was over. But there, in front of everyone, as they took his notes that the two of them had passed and read them allowed.. hearing him admit he was a homosexual.. and they all laughed, they all quoted the words they had shared... and when john looked at him for help.. he did the worst thing he could have ever done... he called him a fag. 

Fag... maybe not the worst word out there but it was the word that ruined his life... you see as bad as that all sounds, what put the pretty little cherry on the you-fucked-up cake, was that looking back dave had never actually picked on john.. it was all his friends.. yes he never stood up for him but he never actually joined along, the most he'd ever do was laugh and even that was rare. So right there, when he said that in front of everyone, was when it was over. Since then he lost all contact with him... he tried so many time and so many different ways to reach him, and this was just another attempt, the most humiliating and desperate one he has, but he wasn't planning on giving up. He screamed and yelled his name looking up at john's window in the second floor, he wasn't planning on shouting or making a scene but he knew he was up there and he knew his dad didn't know he had ever had a boyfriend and he knew joh would do anything to keep it that way.. so he yelled, and yelled, and yelled until suddenly he saw a blue figure hit him across the face. He smiled breathed a sigh of relief 

"John!" he cried and gave him a big hug.. which of course he immediately got practically pushed to the ground for. 

"Get off me!" he said looking at dave coldy.