texts (mashton/lashton)

chapter 10

***possibly triggering scene? Ashton has an anxiety attack before telling Michael***

  Ashton paced the room, nervous for what was to come in the following hours. He was supposed to meet Michael soon, but he wasn't sure he could handle it. His hands shook, his heart sped up to the point where he felt like it would burst out of his chest, his breathing became irregular as he sunk down to floor, head between his knees.

He knew he was having an anxiety attack, but he couldn't talk himself down and there was no one there to help him. He knew what would happen if he continued spiraling, but he couldn't get himself to stand up and walk 10 feet and pick up his phone to call Luke. His mind just kept spinning, making his head throb.

The curly haired boy heard his phone ding, helping sort of bring him back to reality. He heard it go off again and slowly began to go towards the phone. He didn't realize he was crying until he tasted the salty tears.

Once he had finally reached his phone, he noticed a text from Calum. It was a simple 'good luck' with a thumbs up emoji. He shook his head, trying to get out of the trance he was stuck in, and tried to type to the boy, asking for him to come upstairs to his apartment.

Ash: ca;lo
Ash: ccjme hrre
Ash: hekp

  Once Calum read the text, he frantically ran out the door and up to Ashton's floor, leaving his shoes behind. He didn't know what was wrong with Ashton, but it looked really bad.

  "Ashton! I'm here, open the door!" Calum banged on the door with his fist, worriedly. He heard small cries from inside and was unsure of what was going on. After a few more minutes of nothing, he yelled again, this time more gentle.

    "Ashton, are you okay? Can you please open the door? Do you want me to come in?" Calum didn't want to just barge in, but he knew where the spare key was kept and was worried for his friend. He heard a faint 'yes' and reached below the small potted plant and grabbed the key. He unlocked the door and opened it to a sight that made his heart sink.

   Ashton was sitting against the side of the couch, head between his knees, red, swollen eyes, tears streaming down his face, sobs racking through his whole body. His breathing was heavy and Calum quickly moved towards the fragile boy and sat down beside him, taking him in his arms. He knew what was happening, he had helped Ashton through an anxiety attack a few times before that. He was the only one that knew he had them because the boy didn't want to worry anyone.

    "Ash, shh, hey I'm here. Focus on me. Look at me,"  Calum softly told the boy, holding him tight. Ashton looked up at Calum with teary eyes, thankful for his friend being there for him. Ashton felt his body slowly relax as he looked in his eyes.

   "Breathe with me, babe. Breathe in through your nose and count to 7." Calum demonstrated and Ashton copied his breathing.

   "Now breathe out your mouth for 10." Ashton repeated this a few times before he began to feel himself calm down. After ten minutes had passed, he was fully relaxed and exhausted, leaning back into Calum.

   "Wanna talk about it, Ash?" Calum asked carefully, not wanting to trigger another attack. Ashton breathed in again and let out a sigh, nodding slowly.
   
  "I just- I don't want to tell him, Cal. I-I know he's gonna hate me, and i don't know if I can live with that," Ashton said, quieting down towards the end of his sentence, feeling tears well up in his eyes again. Calum looked at the broken, scared boy with sad eyes.

   "Ashton, he won't hate you. He might think he does and he might be upset, but he couldn't hate you. You both love each other so much, even if you aren't in love." Ashton felt the tears fall, Calum reaching down and wiping his cheeks, cupping his face in his hands. He leaned down and pressed a kiss to his forehead.