Ultraviolence

Without you

Lana's POV:

I cleared my tear-stained music sheets off the table and messily shoved them into one of my filing cabinets. I carefully placed my guitar into the case, then took it to my room and put it beneath my bed. Tears continued to burst from my eyes. I lied on my waterbed and sobbed endlessly. I used my thin, violet duvet to wipe tears from my face then went to the bathroom. I was sick of crying. Ever since Barrie di... Left, I've don't nothing but cry. I washed my face and hands with soap, dried myself then walked back into my room. Ever since it happened, Chuck let me move back in. My room was exactly the same, not even a fad dusty. I stood right outside my room and observe it.

My circular waterbed with violet and amber bed sheets stood right in the centre, and it had curtains around it. My room had one wall which was entirely a window, outside I could see the city lights of L.A, the purple curtains were not drawn as I had forgotten last night. My desk which was populous with papers was right next to the door. There was a gummy bear chandelier dangling above my bed, and the switch for it was right above my desk. A door led into a small room where I kept all my instruments, except my shiny black piano which I kept next to my window, so I could have a beautiful view whilst playing music. Next to that door was another door which led out to the balcony. Beneath the balcony was our (Chuck, Charlie and me) garden, which was covered in fresh grass. My wardrobe stood by the wall adjacent to my window. Next to that was my dressing table, and that was next to another wardrobe. I had a lot of clothes but I despised shopping, I didn't understand how girls thought of shopping as fun.

I walked to my dressing table, closing the door behind me. I sat on the stool and studied the table. I had several organised, designer brands of make up: Chanel, Dior, Mac, Urban Decay and much more. I had organised them by alphabetical order, but that was a while ago and they were not in the correct order now.

I tend to be a neat freak. But I've been pretty disorganised ever since Barrie, I can't bare to say it, died.

I stood up and quickly walked away from my dressing table. I glided to my desk, where all my music sheets had been messily dumped. I sat on the black spinning chair and began to pick up the sheets then organise them into neat piles, then I would organise the piles so all my sheets were in the right place.

I picked up the sheets and something in front of me caught my eye; in a golden frame was a beautiful picture of me and Barrie standing outside Chateau Marmont, we stayed there together for a little get-away. We had so much fun. But now he was gone from Earth. Only his skeleton remained.

My weeping resumed and I crawled underneath my duvet where I sobbed continuously. After hours of crying my eyes out, I heard keys rattling from the front door downstairs. I looked at the time on my phone and saw that it was half past three in the morning. I wiped my tears on the duvet, slipped on my bunny slippers then soundlessly walked downstairs.

From the top of the stairs, I saw Chuck sneakily walk through the front door and tip-toe into the kitchen. I followed her and while she was drinking tropicana orange juice, with her back towards me, I said "Where were you all night?"

She jumped and spilled the juice all over her shirt.

"Shit!" She yelled. "Sorry, Lizzy, I was out with Chris."

Chris was Chuck's boyfriend, they had been dating for a year now. He seemed like a very rough type, but whenever he was around her, he always protected her. Plus Chris had a great sense of humour.

"You okay, Lizzy?" Chuck asked, looking concerned. "You look like you've been crying, it's Barrie isn't it?" I nodded and tears flew out of my eyes. I ran into my sister's arms and she cuddled me like I was a little baby.

Chuck graciously let me sleep in her bed with her. I couldn't stand to be alone. I had moved in with Barrie seven months ago, and I never slept alone. I couldn't stand to be without him. I was nothing without him.