April 27th, the worst but yet a good month. Two pictures were taken on this day, (up top) not the same year and not in the same house. The first picture was taken two years ago today, (bottom) April 27, 2016. The second one (top) was from today, April 27, 2018. The first picture comes with a lot of good, beautiful but painful memories.
Two years ago you walked into my life and made it unbelievably great and amazing. You also broke me two years ago, you left without a single word. Two years later you came back, I still remember the exact day. February 1, 2018. It hurts, I still overthink every little thing I could've possibly done but I guess there was really nothing I did do wrong.
A year ago was also really really dreadful. I could've lost my best friend today a year ago, I'm beyond grateful I didn't. Without her I don't know what would've happened a year. Without her I don't even think I would be here right now writing this. I've gone through so much and I actually want to end it.
I'm tired of everything. I'm tired of getting hurt. I'm tired of getting walked all over because even though people may "care a shit ton" no one really does, and to me that's so draining and tiring. I'm not writing this because "I want sympathy," I'm writing this because I need this off of my chest. I need to let the people that have helped me through this know that I am so thankful for them! Without you guys I wouldn't be here right now.
Things are getting hard again, but I think I'll manage. I just wish things would get easier soon because to be honest I don't remember how I got through this two years ago. Just a few more years and I won't have to sit in a room full of artificial people. Maybe a few but not all. The list can go on about what can happen in a few years, but I just hope I don't deal with this pain again. I would never, in a million years even wish this pain on people who have hurt me the most. "Just a few more years and you'll be done with high school," yes I know that but it doesn't mean that I still won't hurt like this again.
To get through I always turn to music, Tupac is one of my favorite rappers because he really spoke truth. "Don't believe everything you hear. Real eyes, realize, real lies." "Chin up kid, they'd kill to see you fail." Those two quotes will always be my favorite of his. Music really speaks the words most people fail to say, so next time maybe listen closer to the lyrics. It's like listening to the screaming and understanding the meaning before judging the noise.
YOU ARE READING
Poems/ little stories
PoesíaThese are short stories/ poems that I wrote. Most of them have a really deep and personal meaning towards me. I hope you guys enjoy.
