Escape

Part 9

As I laid there in bed, reminiscing what has happened so far. I've cried, smiled and screamed. I might sound like an emotional wreck right now, but its how i feel, who i am. I felt dangerous, everyone who i love has died. It leads me to the conclusion,as I sat up i took out my journal, and began to write my thoughts,

     When we were younger we had no issues, ,no problems drifting like a cloud, nothing to worry about, until life its and stress takes the wheel. Now its bottled up...                      

                                          Lets go take out the darkness so you can be pure again just like  the clouds. Until the cloud became full and had to pour out in tears. Man, its all apart of growing up. We booked our new friends, our new appointments, as usual it was another disappointment, the same, same, same. Everyone says its life, you're fine.

 Try to be like this, take this pill, one at dawn, and one and at dusk, practice these ways daily, this is who they want you to be, they said it would help you smile, it would make you feel better. At the end of the day, you've lost everything, as to where you cant even eat dinner, your so stressed, bottled up and confused. Some people don't understand until they experience it themselves. Your confused you feel the same way with or without the pill. But finally someone noticed and said you're getting thinner. 

But you still try to hide. Hide the scars, the agony, the pain, the tears, the fear of letting someone in. AND you smile and say everything is okay, but you know very well that your not. Someone once sneaked in with a knife and you turned your back to them and welcomed your death day. I am expected to be the IT girl, dressed in dresses, big diamonds and jewels. the perfect girl, to carry on the family name. Instead she loses it and brings only the shame.

 Hidden by perfect impressions, hidden behind the smile. More than you can imagine, happiness, sadness, anger, when will this madness STOP. Till the midnight fades, I walk high and proud. Hidden in the darkness, someone who wants to be released, scared of this world you call home. Drowned in symphonies, head on your knees, tears flow, laughs laughed. Had a limit on fake friends, that of no more. Every thought is another song, Every song is another memory, and every memory starts another pain. Yet still trying to make mends. 

I got up from my desk, after clearing my head in a few words, put on some jogging clothes, as the sun began to peak from the horizon. Got my phone, placed my earplugs in place turned it to the max volume, and played Make me by Noah Cyrus and Labrinth. And went for a jog on the beach.... nothing feels right anymore..........

What's next Life?