GUILLOTINE

Chapter 5: Missing Pieces

The moment I arrived home I slammed the door shut without looking behind me. I was about to go upstairs to my room when I heard knocking. Right, Sebastian was behind me. I didn't care at all, in fact, I had slammed the door in his face on purpose. I came back to the entrance, but just to lock the door with key. He wasn't coming inside my house.

"Geez, that's rude kiddo." He said from the other side of the door. I rolled my eyes and groaned, annoyed. He knocked again, but I ignored him. I went back upstairs to my room and just laid down on my bed. My whole body ached badly, but I tried to not pay much attention to the pain.

I closed my eyes and started thinking. Yeah, truly there was no way to continue from here. The hell was effoc? The hell was the button doing back at Diana's school? The hell did it meant? There was no use. Maybe Sebastian was going to find a way for it to make sense... but me... what could I do about it? He was right, I was just being plain useless since the beginning. What did I wanted? Revenge? Yeah, but that wasn't bringing them back.

Then I thought about mom. Mom would always know when something was bothering me. She would come to my room and sing lullabies for me until I fell asleep.

"Oh sweetie... it's okay... shh shh... it's okay to cry... I'm here." I could hear her whisper in my ear... I could feel her hugging me... but when I opened my eyes, of course, she wasn't there. The warmth faded away.

I hugged myself. I wanted to cry, but at the same time not. I felt sick of crying. I felt sick of everything. Sick of Sebastian, sick of the clues, sick of this house... just... sick.

"Let's go in the garden, you'll find something waiting, right there were you left it, lying upside down..." I sang quietly. That was mom's favorite lullaby, and mine too. It was such an emotional song, but heck, did I knew the lyrics by heart. "When you finally find it, you'll see how it's faded, the underside is lighter when you turn it around..."

I closed my eyes again, and tried to bring back the warmth of mom's hug, tried to bring back her voice, back to me.

"Everything stays, right were you left it... everything stays, but it still changes... ever so slightly, daily and nightly... in little ways... when everything stays..."

She was there, I could feel her. I could really feel her. Even the body pain seemed to disappear slowly. I didn't open my eyes this time, scared of her going away again, and just kept singing, until I could fall myself to sleep.

"Mom... Mommy... I'm sorry..."

Just when I was about to fall asleep, I heard something on the roof that got me distracted. Maybe it was just an animal, or some snow falling, so I ignored the sound. I tried to concentrate on mom's words, but as I sang once again, I couldn't hear her anymore. I tried again, and again, and again... I tried desperately for her not to fade away once more.

"Mom please, please come back..." I mumbled in between my singing, but there was no use.

She was gone.

God damn it, why did things had to be this way? Why were they gone? Why them? It... It should've had been me instead. They were so good and kind and generous... and I... I was so... so...

"Hey, kiddo." I suddenly heard.

My eyes opened immediately at the irritating sound of my uncle's voice. Godforsaken Sebastian was on the damn window, peeking inside my room. I became really angry once again, like, for the seventh time in the day, and it was only twelve noon.

I was so shocked at the fact that damn Sebastian could climb up to my window without using a ladder that I fell from the edge of the bed, and my whole body started aching even worse. I couldn't lift myself up, so I just stayed on the cold floor, my head pressed to the ground, and Sebastian watched me as if I was some kind of cheap, crappy comedy from 1940's Hollywood.