It's almost midnight and I can't sleep. Again. Too many fucking thoughts. hah no. There are not to many thoughts for me. Not anymore. Just him. I miss him. I miss him every day. More and more. It hurts you know.. missing the person that means the world to you. But he doesn't know. I am just another girl for him.. well at least i was. At least I made him happy for a while. I was his reason to smile. The reason that he didn't give up as he used to say. But he finally did. He gave up. I told him to stay strong. to fight. To fight for us. but he.. he didnt survive. He was fighiting canser for 2 years you know. Such a long time. But we were together. He promised me that he'll win this fight. but he.. he lost it. He left me here alone. I miss him. I miss his smile, his dimples, his curls.. even his annoying "knock-knock" jokes. Every detail that made him unique. That made him perfect. He was perfect for me and i think that he will always be. I still remember the latter he wrote to me before he passed away..
"Love please don't cry. I can't see you cry. I can't deal with it. The pain that your tears bring to me. so dont' cry and just read it. Read it carefull. I love you. You were, are and always be the one for me. I know it's hard to believe it. but well, its the truth. I know that i hurted you and made you cry many times but every time I did that to you I can remember myself wanted to die. Every viber every piece of me wanted because I knew I hurted you. Babe I'm sorry. I'm sorry I wasn't the one that you deserved. I'm sorry that I was such a horrible person. I'm sorry that you were stuck with me the last 2 years. Becauce I know that they were suck. We were moving from hospital to hospital and.. ohh.. anyways. The doctor said that you have come here so I must finish that latter quickly.He'll give it to you when I... when I die. I want you to move on with your life. I want you to have a family like the one we had dreamt about. I love you babe. Forever yours ∞.
Harry xx"
No. No Harry. You wanna know something? I know you can hear me so listen. You weren't horrible. You didn't hurt me. Never. I was just too stupid. Damn it was always my fault. But you were the one that always took the responsibilty. you didn't want me to be hurted. And babe I'm sorry. I'm sorry for all. but I'll do what I have been done for a long time now. But first i must do something last. The last thing on this earth.
"Dear Mr.Styles
You were the first man I had ever loved. I mean true and pure love. And I miss you. I miss you, you idiot. I mean you are up there now and just watching us being in pain? no no no. That was not our deal. We were suppose to die together. Do you remember? All these promises and the passion kisses at the moonlight?. Yeah I remember them. I remember them all. and they can get out of my head. You see.. they were trying to get you out of my head the truth is i got lost without you and since then I've been waking up to only half a blue sky.. you know im half a heart without you. I love you. Forever yours ∞
Your Mrs.Styles"
I'm sorry that I'm giving up babe. I really do. But now I'll come to find you. I'm coming babe. I'm almost there. Now we are going to be together as we promised. Always and forever.
