An ephemeral trip to the soul of an utter failure

Ephemeral is a cool word

I don't remember the last time self loathing didn't feel so natural and ordinary. Fear became my best friend and anxiety became my lover...
Every day I feel no happiness, no joy, no calmness...
Do I sound edgy?
Fuck off...
I don't give a shit about sounding edgy...
My life is in fucking ruins.
And it's my fault...
My fucked up decisions fucked me over on all fronts...
I'm broke.
I didn't finish secondary school.
I have no job.
My mom fucking hates me and it's just a matter of time before she kicks me out to the streets.
Fuck my life...
I can point out every fucking decision that lead me to this point in time and space...
I know what did I do wrong.
I know what I could've done differently.
I know what was beyond my control.
Yet...
Here I stand...