UNKEPT

Chapter 10: Past lives (part 1)

I hear a thunder and the lights go down. The loudest thunder I've ever heard, but I can hear my heartbeat over the noise of that storm. He's looking at me, his eyes are sparkling and I don't really know why but being in a dark room makes the feeling more intense. I hear my father's voice in my head "Stop." The voice says, "This is not okay." Should I obey that voice? "Don't do it." I keep repeating to myself, "This is wrong, Louis." I find myself trapped between my brain and my heart, my thoughts and my feelings, between the door and Harry. I try to concentrate and make a decision, but it looks like my heart has decided for itself. It seems it's been hours ago when we entered the room, the time is passing so slowly.

Harry's not moving at all, I'm the one who's moving towards him, it's like my body is moving unconciously, I can't stand it, I can't hold myself anymore. I softly put my hands on Harry's face, one on each side and I put my lips on his. The second I feel his lips on mine my heart starts racing so fast it looks like it's gonna burst, I can feel his smile, he grabs my waist and presses his mouth against mine. I had never felt so confortable and safe in my life. I close my eyes to enjoy Harry's soft lips but the lights come back and he moves away.

He's two inches away from me again. I look at his face. Oh God, he's so beautiful. I feel my face blushing while staring at him and I can't help but smile. He looks at me and smiles back. "That's not exactly what I meant." He giggles. I feel the most stupid person who has ever walked on earth for a second, but he grabs my face all of a sudden. "But it's way better than what I thought." He whispers in the corner of my mouth before gently kissing me again. He looks at me and I smile, I'm happy, for the first time in almost three years I feel genuinely happy.

The storm is getting stronger and the lights go off again. I walk towards the bed and lay down, Harry does the same and he lays on his left side, looking at me. "What?" I ask. "Everything's gonna be okay." He says while smiling. I smile back at him and close my eyes, feeling incredibly safe. "Harry."

"Yes?"

I hesitate for a second before answering. "Goodnight."

******************

The daylight comes through the window that's next to the bed and it makes me wake up. I check the time, it's only 8 in the morning but I don't feel like sleeping anymore. I remember what happened yesterday night and smile, but I can't help but feeling bad about it at the same time. It was wrong. That was not supposed to happen. I'm a twenty year old man who is supposed to fall in love with a beautiful and rich woman. A woman, not an 18-year old boy, with no money and no job. "A boy." I think to myself. Two boys can't fall in love. It's not okay, it's completely wrong. What are people going to think or say? I don't know if I'm emotionally ready to be rejected by the whole world, by my friends, by my family...

While I'm trying to get my thoughts together I hear a metallic noise downstairs. I sit on the edge of the bed and I turn around to see Harry, but he's not there. I uncover my legs and stand up. It's freezing. "Harry?!" I yell, expecting an answer from him. But all I hear is silence. I exit the bedroom and call him again. "Harry, where are you?" No answer.

I go down the stairs, I don't really know where to start looking since I don't know the house but at least it's light right now.

I find a room that seems to be an old office, with extremely old shelves and a desk. It's all dusty and it looks like no one has entered in this room in ages so I get out and I close the door when I hear that metallic noise again and I turn around all of a sudden. The noise comes from a room at the end of the corridor. "Harry?!" I ask again while walking towards that room.

"Louis, I'm here."