The Emma way or the highway.

Chapter One bitches

"What's up bitches welcome to another overrated YouTube video by Emma Chamberlain!?!?", I scream into my camera. Poor camera. "So today we will be doing a makeup tutorial, because I'm a beauty Guru, and I know shit.", I smile into the camera Oddly. Ah today's a good day, I'm finally recording a video. after a month or putting it off. It's not like I don't want to do youtube, it's just that I get really lazy to upload on a schedule. But that's the old Emma. The new and approved Emma is uploading once a week. Dude I feel like that one saying all the basic bitches say on New Years; New Year, New me. Hehe.

Well as you know I'm recording a video, and after all the idea's I didn't have; I came up with a "makeup tutorial". Honestly I hate makeup; how do people sweat in it? Like what if your outside and your makeup starts running? And everyone is like "woah she's actually white guys?!?!", because all of your tan foundation is now blotched all over your face. Like no honey, your not going to find me outside when it's 90 degrees with a cake on my face.

Well back to the point, I thought it would be funny and all for me to do my makeup because I'm absolutely trash at doing it.

"So first I'm going to use rose water by Mario Badescu. Hehe. I really only know of this because of niche memes on insta, so thanks.", I say out to my cult friends. "Once you put that shit on your face your going to put some foundation on, which I will be using Rihanna's Fenty beauty,foundation.", I say while trying to put some on this eggy thing. "Then your going to want to put it on your stressball thing, then your going to DaB DaB dAb this bitch all over your face", I say with passion. "Once your face is two shades darker then your skin, your going to bake your face. And no, you will not be needing the oven. I know, I tried. It doesn't work", I say to the camera. "Now once your face is crusty as fuck, your going to do your eyes. Today I'm going to go with a emo 2014 look, because I know that look way to well. Yikes." I say sarcastically into the camera. "So your going to want to smear black eyeshadow all over your eyelid, you want to look like you read Wattpad 24/7." I say with a laugh. "Once your done with your eyes, your going to sweep off the left over bake stuff, I'm just going to spare you guys the harsh details of contour and bronzer; and just go to lips. Because honestly I don't know what the fuck how to do either.", I say with a face. "Last step, is the Lipgloss. Lipgloss is my best friend. This is Linda." I show off my glossier lip gloss. "She's camera shy, so don't mind her." I joke.

"Well I hope you guys liked this shitty video, make sure you unsubscribe and dislike this video." I say with a fake smile.

I turn off my camera and immediately start editing the video because I know I won't have the energy to do it tomorrow. Once I finish editing I hit the hay. (That means go to sleep) hehe. Stop.