Dear Whoever you are:
Things are bad, really bad. I broke down last night.
I was watching TV when my phone rang. The show was Everybody Loves Raymond. You're probably wondering why I said that, but I want to give you every detail.
Ray Romano was going on about something. He didn't want to watch his kids and he didn't want his parents or Robert to come over. It was funny, I guess.
Then I heard the phone ring, so I picked it up. It was my sister, calling from college. I hadn't seen her in what seemed like forever, because she hasn't been home since Easter and It's now July and she's still there.
The conversation went something like this.
"Hello?"
"Walter? Are mom and dad home?"
"They're out of the house right now. Why? Did something happen?"
There was a short pause and she said "I'm fine. but something happened."
That's when I started panicing.
"Stacey and I were in a car crash. I should have never gotten in the car."
"What happened?"
"It's nothing, I don't want to make you worried."
"Steph, tell me. Now."
"She was drunk. We hit a tree. I am fine, I just need mom and dad, I need to tell them what happened. Please, just don't panic."
"Okay."
I hung up the phone at that point, even though Steph probably wanted to tell me more. I started hyperventilating, because I thought about how Steph could have died. Steph never really liked me much anyway. When we were kids she'd pick on me, and when I got older, she did too. And when I got bad, she wasn't around and I was a bit of a bombshell. We don't talk much anymore, because she's away at college. Last time I saw her, at Easter, we talked a lot. She didn't say she was worried about me and I appreciated that, because it doesn't exactly help. We just kind of hung out like we were friends, despite our crappy childhood additudes.
When she left I got bad again. I haven't talked to her since.
My mom got scared when she walked in on me crying and shaking because I had just talked to my sister. It wasn't even so much what she said, it was that I hadn't talked to her and the time she does talk to me is when she's not looking for me and in trouble. That stings.
Anyway, I'm going to therapy in a little bit. I think I'll tell my therapist about you. You seem like a good subject for a session. Okay. Bye.
Forever yours,
W
