His Fallen Grace

Chapter Nine

Sam couldn't get to sleep. He gave the clock on his bed stand a glance.

2:34 AM.

Dean hadn't come back yet. Sam had tried talking to Cas a couple hours back, but he wouldn't say a word. He sat up, giving the clock one more look before swinging his legs over the bed. He couldn't do this. He couldn't sleep, and Dean wasn't back. He needed to go find him. He was stepping over to the door when he saw the flicker of a shadow pass by. It could've been Kevin, or Cas. But something just made him... Uneasy. He grabbed the gun he leaned up against the inner door frame, the door creaking as he slowly pushed it open.

He quietly made his way down the dark halls, gun clutched tightly in his hand growing more alert with every creak and groan emanating from the floorboards. A faint light from the kitchen catching his eye, he leant against the wall, taking a deep breath before turning into the door way and pointing the gun at a silhouette.

"Freeze."

The figure turned, not seeming the least bit alarmed.

"Hiya, Sammy."

Sam lowered the gun, squinting hard at the dimly lit outline.

"Dean?"

Sam flicked on the lights, Dean standing beside the fridge, beer in hand.

"You scared me, man," he scoffed. "What the hell are you doing?"

"What's it look like I'm doing? I'm gettin' a beer. Want one?"

He offered the one in his hand to his brother.

"Uh, no thanks. I'm good."

Upon getting closer, Sam could practically smell the alcohol on his brother's breath.

"Dean?"

"Hm?"

"Are you... are you drunk?'

"Uh, no."

"Uh, sure. Look, I don't think you need another one of those. It's late, why don't you uh, go lay down, okay?"

He slowly reached down and took the bottle from Dean's loose grip, setting it on the counter as he placed a hand on his brother's shoulder and lead him down the hall.

"... Cas."

Sam could barely understand his brother's drunken rabble.

"What?"

"Where's Cas?"

"Uh. I don't know. But don't worry about it."

"No. No, Sam-"

Dean grasped Sam's sleeve, clutching it tightly.

"Dean, c'mon-"

"No, Sam-I have to apologize to him, I have to apologize to Cas-"

Sam sat his brother down on his bed, Dean still clinging to the hem of his sleeve.

"Please Sammy, please."

"Dean, just-lay down."

"No, Sammy, please...! Please Sammy, if I don't apologize to him, he's gonna leave, his gonna leave me, Sam...!"

"Dean, what are you talking about? Cas isn't going anywhere."

"Please Sam, I can't lose another one, I just can't Sam. Let me apologize to him...!"

"Dean, calm down, no one's going anywhere."

"Sammy, we've lost Dad, and Ellen, and Jo, and Bobby, please Sam, I can't lose another one, I just can't--"

Sam pushed him down as he tried to get up, keeping a hand on his chest.

"Dean, shut up, and lay down. Cas isn't going anywhere."

Dean clutched his brother's wrist, shaking his head.

"Sammy, I can't lose him. I can't."

Sam sighed, letting go of his brother's shirt and pressing his hand to his shoulders, gently pushing him down onto the bed and throwing the covers over him.

"Yeah. I know. Just... Get some rest. You can talk to him when you're sober, okay?"

Dean turned over, Sam unable to catch a word of his slurring. After staying for a moment to make sure he was asleep, Sam gave his brother one last glance before closing the door softly behind him. It bothered him. Dean wasn't one to spill his guts over what he was feeling. He bottled it up, and kept it locked away, somewhere so deep, hopeful that even he couldn't access it.

So for Dean to all of a sudden... It was unsettling. Maybe he really was scared. Dean would never admit it, but he was always hurting. With Dean, whether it be past or present, always had something eating at him. He'd have to be pretty drunk to just, spill, like that. Sam put the beer back in the open fridge and closed it grabbing his gun as he turned to head back to his room.

"Jesus Cas-"

Sam's heart thumped hard in his chest as he exhaled sharply.

"I didn't see you there..."

"Dean, is he back?"

"Uh, yeah... Hey uh, Cas?"

He received a slight head tilt in response.

"You're not planning on... leaving, are you...?"

This received Sam an even bigger head tilt.

"... No... Why do you ask...?"

Sam felt his lips tug into a slight smile.

"No reason, really. Just uh, curious..."

To be honest, Castiel didn't seem to be all that convinced, but didn't say anything else.

"Well..." Sam started, gesturing down the hall. "I'm gonna get to bed. Night, Cas. You uh, make sure to get some sleep too."

"I will. Goodnight, Sam."

Sam went to bed, feeling a lot better that for once, his brother didn't have something to worry about.