His Fallen Grace

Chapter Sixteen [Part Two]

Dean had been driving all day. He didn't know how late it was, or care for that matter. All he knew what that it was dark, and he still hadn't found Cas. Where the hell would've he gone? Where the hell could he have gone? That he knew of, Cas didn't have a buck to his name, and with the angels on his ass?

"What kind of stupid son of a bitch does that..." Dean muttered to no one but himself as he pulled into an empty lot. He pulled the six-pack he'd bought from the passenger seat as he stepped out, seating himself on the hood and popping the tab on his beer.

He gazed up, eyes skimming over the countless stars which speckled the dark night sky, catching a glimpse of something out of the corner of his eye as it shot across.

July 27th, 1990

"Whoa!" Sam exclaimed, pointing at the sky as he and his brother sat on the hood of the Impala, star gazing.

"What was that Dean?!"

Dean smiled at his brother, looking back up at the stars.

"A shooting star. Did you make a wish? If you make a wish, it'll come true."

Sam looked to him, eyes filled with wonder.

"Really?"

"Yeah, mom used to tell me all the time. Go ahead, but, don't tell anyone, else it won't work."

Dean drew a breath, taking a swing as he gazed up.

"Make a wish, huh..."

Dean had never believed that crap, even as a kid. Wishes didn't come true. Not like that, at least. He sucked in another breath, the alcohol stinging his throat as it went down.

"... Cas?" He said under his breath. He'd only uttered his name, but he could already feel his throat catching.

"Where the hell are you, man? What the hell are you doing...? We..."

He looked down at his hands, taking a moment to compose himself before starting up again.

"We were happy. Or..." He let out a light laugh, shaking his head slightly.

"At least I was. I mean, I'm not perfect, Cas. Far from it, actually, but... You were happy, right? So tell me... Why'd you go, man? You had to know how it'd be on me... This sucks, Cas. This really fucking sucks, you know that?"

His voice was rising, and instead of that dull pain in his heart, he felt an anger swell up in his chest. He was pissed. Pissed at Cas for leaving. Pissed at how life seemed to just take away any happiness he and Sam had ever got their hands on.

"Why can't you just come back? Why can't I just wake up and see you there next to me, Cas...? Is that too God damn much to ask for?" He threw the can he'd been tightly clutching in his hand onto the asphalt. He grabbed the rest of five cans sitting on the Impala, hurling it and watching as it hit the ground with a large crack!, alcohol spurting every which way from its dented, cracked cans.

"I just want you to come home, Cas."

He knew Cas couldn't hear him. He knew, but he liked to think maybe, just maybe. He knew yelling to nothing but emptiness wouldn't change a thing, but something about it made him feel maybe just a little better. Just a little.

***Sorry, I planned to update earlier than now but couldn't get anything down. And once I had, I exited Wattpad for a bit and it sort of deleted all of what I had. *still so mad* Sorry for ripping your hearts out and feeding them to llamas. They were hungry.***