The Clinch

Chapter Thirty Two

Chapter Thirty Two

Soft movement of my hair being shifted and pushed away from my face rouses me from sleep, and I mewl softly at the contact, purring closer into the touch whilst strapping Coby tightly to my chest.

"Mmm" the voice stirs, sounding unused and sore "hey princess."

I gasp and jerk upright, meeting Gabriel's eyes as they slowly flutter open and closed. With a relieved smile, I wind his fingers with mine and beam down at him. "How are you? Are you thirsty? Hungry? I can get you anything you want; it's just so good to see you again. I thought for sure that it was all gone, that you..."

A sob breaks my speech, and I bury my face into Gabriel's shoulder as he hushes me. "Me too, princess, me too. It was so surreal. I could hear you talking to me, spurring me on, trying to get me to stay with you. But I was floating away; and I was so close to just leaving. And then I sort of saw all the things we could have, all the things that we'd be in the future, and now I'm awake. It was bizarre. What happened, exactly?"

Leaning to the side table, I quickly fetch him a glass of water and hold it to his parched mouth. He guzzles the water instantly and I refill the cup again, watching patiently as he drains that one too before he's somewhat sated.

Coby decides this is the perfect moment to get his father's attention, and as he babbles and reaches for Gabriel, he gets his baby fists tangled in Gabriel's wires. I delicately untangle him and smooth back his frizzy hair. "How's my little man doing?" Gabriel asks whilst reaching out for Coby in like and smiling down at the small baby.

I gently settle Coby at his father's side, half settled against Gabriel's shoulder as I try and keep him away from Gabriel's healing ribs. "Coby is perfectly healthy and unscathed. Some drunk ran a stop light and plowed us down at the junction. Your side took the brunt of the collision; they've had to conduct surgery on your pierced lung and fix your broken ribs, a couple of the others are fractured too. But you'll live."

Gabriel gives a tiny smile at my optimism. "And you? And the baby, are you guys alright?"

My smile instantly falls and I shake my head in misery before meeting Gabriel's gaze head on, trying to convey my deepest sorrow. "We- we lost the baby, Gabriel. I hemorrhaged and we lost it. I'm so sorry."

"Oh." He whispers, eyes watering slightly as he gives a thick swallow and looks away. "Oh." He repeats again, apparentley at a sore loss for words as he clutches Coby securely to him and breathes in deeply of Coby's fresh baby smell.

We sit in silence for a couple of minutes in which I can't find the courage to talk. Gabriel's the first to finally speak up. "I don't know what to say." He murmurs, stroking Coby's cheek reverently. "What do you want me to say?" His voice turns hard, desperate, and it breaks my heart to hear the agony he's feeling coming through.

I shake my head. "I don't want you to say anything. You don't have to."

His eyes turn deep and black as he meets my eyes before breaking eye contact once again and clearing his throat. "I really wanted that baby, Darryl. We make awesome parents, and another baby would have been perfect. I just- I just can't believe that some dumb fucking drunk driver took that away from us. I feel so fucking stupid for not seeing him heading towards us!"

The way his voice rises with his ensuing anger, makes both Coby and I startle. But Coby's the only one who actually starts to cry in fright, and I quickly scoop him up into my arms and stand on my good leg whilst bouncing him up and down. "Shh baby, daddy didn't mean to scare you."

"I'm supposed to protect you!" Gabriel growls, tears beginning to stream down his face. "And look how that turned out. I failed you, Darryl, I couldn't protect you or Coby or the baby. I'm a failure."

I turn to him with a stern expression, taking his face by the chin and making him meet my eyes. "It was an accident, Gabriel, get it into your head. You couldn't control it, you couldn't stop it. Even if you did swerve there wouldn't have been enough time to... It could have been a lot worse had you swerved. Coby could have taken most of the collision instead. So stop thinking about the 'what if's' otherwise the guilt will consume you like it does me!"

Striding away, I soothe Coby by murmuring sweet words into his ear and humming his favourite song, 'Once upon a December'.

"Why would you feel guilty?" He snarls in confusion, grabbing my hand and whipping me around so fast that I have to brace myself on my bad leg to stop from stumbling. The weight I put on my wounded leg almost sends me to my knees as crippling pain lacerates through me and I hiss in agony. "What happened to your leg? Was that in the accident? Why didn't you tell me you got hurt?"

"Because it seemed irrelevant." I spit back at him, hopping back to the chair and settling down, slowly massaging the muscles around the wound on my thigh. "I had a glass pane sliced through my thigh, I took it out at the scene and then they removed the rest and sewed it up during surgery. And of course I feel guilt! I shouldn't have been bitching at you. If I'd listened to you and not been shouting in your ear all that morning, we'd have been early for your parents thing and we'd have totally missed the drunk driver. It's my fault that you're here, that we lost the baby; it's all mine!"

Gabriel harrumphs and reaches for me, wincing as he leans forwards in bed and cups a hand around the back of my head. "It's not. Don't be silly. We just had a trivial argument, that's not why we ended up in hospital. We really need to stop doing this to ourselves, princess."

I cry into his kiss, melding my mouth desperately to his, so relieved that he's alive to be able to kiss me. "I love you. And I was so scared you'd leave me. When you were in that coma, all I did was blame myself. But we shouldn't be worrying about blame, we should be counting ourselves lucky that we lived through it. That we're still here. I'm so fucking thankful that you're still alive."

"I am, and so are you. Now tell me about your leg."

And I do, I tell him about how they've sicked me with the crutches for the next week and he chuckles at the hateful way I look at the torture devices.

A couple of minutes later the nurse comes in looking utterly frazzled that Gabriel is awake. "Mr Lancaster, I see you're up. Darryl you should have pressed the button the minute he awoke." She scorns me, mock scowling in my direction as she goes to Gabriel's bedside and starts fiddling with his drip.

"We had some stuff to talk about first, sorry Shannon." I explain, squeezing her hand gratefully. Shannon has been a God send. She's bent all kinds of rules so that I can stay with Gabriel. Although I'm pretty sure her willingness to help has a little something to do with her crush on my brother.

"I'm going to give you some more morphine for the pain, Dr Lancaster. The last batch shouldn't  have worn off as fast as it did."

Gabriel manages a smug grin. "People don't realise that it takes a lot to keep this big body down, especially when it's kicking and fighting to see its family."

My insides twitch in pleasure. He was fighting for us. Just like he'll always fight for us. A life without Gabriel wouldn't be worth living. He's the other part of me that keeps me grounded, that makes me feel electric. "God, I've missed you." I smirk, bending down to kiss his temple whilst playing with our fussing baby. But now he's back, and he's back and swinging.

(A/N) Song Suggestion: Mikky Ekko- Disappear