The Monster's Game

Lost Soul.

"Pleaseeeeee someone help me, pleaseeee" I screamed out with tears streaming down my face. I was nauseous as hell but I had to find a way to get up out of there. I had to find Corey. "Mam' you need to relax, you're on heavy medication and you can hurt yourself real bad if you don't sit down. Please sit down." The doctor said with a heavily concern. I didnt know what to think, I didn't know what to do. All I knew was I had to find Corey. As fucked up as it sounds, I kinda felt sorry for him. I mean, what am I supposed to do? He's all that I got. My family disowned me, my friends don't want nothing to do with me and I have nowhere to go. I silently cried to myself as I dialed his number. After calling 27 times, I knew it was over. Here I am, HIV positive with a fucking fractured skull running after a man who didn't give a fuck about me. I can't believe my king, the man I loved tried to kill me instead of facing the truth. I silently cried myself to sleep until I got released the next morning.

As I walked to my mother's home I thought about all the things that could possibly go wrong. I knocked softly on my mother's door knowing she couldn't hear it. I was scared, I admit it. I haven't seen momma in over 4 years. The last time I saw her, she dragged me out of Corey's car and embarrassed me for being with an older guy since I was only 15.  I Remember She told me if I wanted to be grown, I couldn't live under her roof so I had to choose, and my choice was Corey.

"What are you doing here?" my sister Keshia said disappointedly, waking me out of my day dream. My heart dropped to my stomach, " I... I just wanted to stop by and check on you guys, is that alright?" I said with my head down. I didn't want them to notice the bruise that was left after being pistol whipped repeatedly. "Come in, you can't stay for too long. Momma is sick and she needs her rest." I nodded, then walked in the house that was once mines. I missed momma, I missed my sister, I missed my room and I missed my old life. I have been gone for so long, that I didn't know she was suffering from respiratory cancer. "Hey ma", I painfully smiled as I leaned in to give her a kiss. I wanted to break down so bad, but I had to be strong. I had to be strong for me, I had to be strong for momma. "I told you so" was the last thing I wanted to hear. "I brought you some flowers. Don't worry, it's not roses like before. It's the pretty sunflowers that you like." I giggled as it reminded me of the time this guy brought her dozen roses not knowing that soon as she touch them, she would break out in hives. Momma laid in bed looking lifeless, she didn't move nor speak. I left the flowers on the nightstand and headed to the living room where Keisha sat watching Love and Hiphop Atlanta. "Kesh, I think she should go to the hospital. Mom is dying and I can't stand to see her in there like that" Keisha rolled her eyes and raised her voice "Bitch, don't you come in my fucking house and try to give out orders when you left! You have no right to say what the fuck goes on in here." "Tuh, wow . Are you kidding me Kesh? Did you forget that she kicked me out!!! I had no choice!!!" I yelled, knowing that what just came out my mouth was a lie. "You know what, your right. I'll leave. I have enough shit on my plate. Fuck this!" I grabbed my things and stormed out the door with no clue of where I was going.

As I walked down the block I began to get nauseous again. I don't know if my anxiety was kicking in, but I felt like the whole fucking world was looking at me like they knew I was infected. "What the fuck you looking at!!" I screamed to this man standing on the corner. "who you think you talking to bitch?" He said as he got up off of the crate he was sitting on and began to walk towards me. "Leave me the hell alone okay? I'm having a horrible day." He laughed at me and said "ima see you later little bitch." as he put back on his yellow hat. I proceeded to walk with no destination in mind, with tears streaming down my face. I felt weak. I felt defeated. I just wanted the pain to go away. After walking for hours, I decided to sit on a near by park bench. It was going on 2:00am and the temperature started to drop. I noticed a young woman with a purple blanket sitting by the tree holding a sign saying "homeless and hungry". She looked like she could've been no older than 18. I took my last $7.80 out of my purse and walked over to her to put it in her can. "Why thank you!!!!! God bless you!!!! I'm going to be right back. Can you watch my blanket please? Thank you so much. Thank you thank..." "No problem girl." I said cutting her off. I watched her run across the street without looking both ways into a building that had no windows. I stood by what she called her home and waited for her to come back out. 10 minutes passed as I began to get worried. I grabbed her things and decided to walk across the street to see if I'd run into her.

"Excuse me, have you seen that lady that usually stays across the street? She just went inside of that building a few minutes ago" i Pointed. "No ma, I'm not even from here I don't even know who that is." He said. "Oh okay" I replied as I walked toward the building. Loud music was playing from the inside but you couldn't hear it unless you were inside. As I walked up the stairs i began to think about what she might have been doing. I didn't see any signs of drug use so I didn't think nothing of it. Honestly, I never seen anything in that nature in person only in movies. I had the perfect life growing up. I wasn't rich, but we were well off. I didn't need for nothing, especially when my father was in the picture. I began to think about how my life would've turned out if my father stayed. A loud thud woke me up out of my day dream. I proceeded to walk to the door that was half way cracked. "Hey, I have your blanket I need to go." I screamed before I walked any further. I began to hear a Gargling sound so I pushed the door open.

There she was. With a needle in her arm, laying on a dirty mattress foaming to the mouth. "oh my god!!!!! Oh my god!!!! Help help help!!!!!!" I screamed as I ran in the room to take the needle out of her arm. I screamed as loud as I could, but it was as if no one could hear me. I digged in my bag to look for my cellphone so I can call the police. My hands were shaking so uncontrollably. As I began to dial 911, a big dark shadow came towards me and hit me in the head with something very heavy. I fell hard onto the floor, and I automatically began to feel weak. I knew no one could hear me, so why even scream? It was me, her and this unknown man in this abandoned building and I knew it was my time. "Just go to sleep, just go to sleep, I whispered to myself. I wanted to die. I felt my belt being unbuckled and his big hands rubbing on my chest. I deserved it. Maybe he deserved it to. To finally be poisoned by his victim. "Please.. let me go" I cried out. He kept going. He began to fuck me hard while rubbing on my arms. I just laid there and thought about how amazing heaven would be. I felt a great pinch in my arm than automatically began to feel woozy. The big man finally got off of me and passed out on the floor. I couldn't move, I couldn't run, I couldn't scream. It was like my soul was stuck inside my body and my body was in cement.