The Secret

Chapter 13

I finally uncovered all of my mirrors. I could see myself again. And I looked horrible. I had a restless night again. Nothing new, sadly. But it's ok, today will be different. I'm going to wear my new dress. I'm excited. Well, at least I will be. I sigh and walk into my bathroom and start to get ready for the day. When I'm done I walk out and get into my new navy dress. I check what I look like. The dress looks nice, but my face does not. I walk over to my dressing table and grab my makeup bag, that I haven't touched in a long time, I rummage through the contents and pick up my foundation, eyeshadow, contour palette and my highlighter. I start to apply the makeup. I finish off with mascara and fake eyelashes. I keep going back to my mirror to make sure that I look ok. I end up putting on a natural lip gloss. I start doing my hair.

When I'm finally finished with my appearance I sit on my bed feeling tired. I look into my mirror again. My eyes instantly travel to my wrist, thankfully only white marks are shown. Thank you Bio - Oil. I take a deep breathe and look at my face. I look pretty, I'm not going to deny that, but I'm starting to think that this wasn't a good idea after all. I shake the thought off and grab my black leather jacket.

I reach the kitchen and I spot my mam reading her book while eating porridge, sitting at the island, her back facing me. I don't make a sound. I'm scared at what she'll say about my short dress and my heels. She'll probably yell at me. Send me back upstairs. Something like that anyway. I take a breath and walk past her to the fridge and grab a yoghurt. I turn around to find my mam staring at me with her mouth open, in shock. I wait for her to shout or say something but she just keeps staring at me. I shift awkwardly. Finally, her voice pierces the silence.

"What the hell?" she looks me up and down. I shrug, not really sure what to say. "Are you going some weird teenage phase that you think you're suddenly a stripper?" she asks, rather loudly.

"Mam," I say shocked that she would imply that. "I wanted to try something different." I look down at the floor. I hear a chair scrape on the floor, I look up to see my mam moving closer towards me. She reaches out and hugs me. I hug her back hesitantly. She pulls away.

"You look so grown up." she sniffs and I realise that she's crying. I didn't think this would happen.

"Mam, don't cry."

"I can't help it." and she bursts into tears. I hug her and rub my hand along her back, soothing her. We stay this way until she settles down.

"I know I probably should tell you not to wear that to school." she sighs looking at me in full. "But I'm not." I expected her to say something else, but she doesn't, she walks away upstairs, probably to get dressed.

I arrive at school ten minutes late. I hop out of my mam's Toyota and thank her before slamming the door. I run up to the doors, thankful for my mam's advice to change the heels into my white vans. I slow my run to a fast walk as I reach the hallway leading up to my History class. I open the door hesitantly. I quickly walk in and close the door behind me. I glance at Mr.Clay and say my apologies for being late. I turn around facing the rest of the class. I pause. Why is everyone looking at me? I just stare, confused. I spot a hand waving me over, It's Haley. I walk over and sit beside her. I look around the class, their gazes have turned back Mr.Clay. I let out a sigh of relief.

"Why was everyone looking at me?" I whisper, turning to face Haley.

"Are you serious?" Her eyes glare at me. "You look hot, that's why."

Oh. I completely forgot what I was wearing. Mr.Clay snaps at us for talking. We turn our attention back to the teacher but I could see out of the corner of my eye, the heat rising in Haley's cheeks. How many people are going to have a crush on him? He looks good for a teacher. His hair is a sandy colour and he wears long sleeve tops with jeans everyday. He also has a slight stubble. Everyone swoons at the sight of him, except me. I think it's weird to have a crush on a teacher.

Not only is everyone looking at what I'm wearing, everyone has already heard about the McDonalds incident. Walking through the hallway to get from class to class was unnerving. Most students will look me up and down, taking in my new 'look'. I hear whispers everywhere I go. Usually it's 'Oh My God did you hear that she beat up Maddy?' 'The good girl gone bad' 'I heard that she's insane'. I try to ignore it but it's hard to not listen in, especially when it's about you.

I keep walking past all the girls and guys in the hallway, hearing the whispers. I'm nearly at the canteen, but someone's arm wraps around my waist. I jump a little, startled. I look up and recognise the person staring back at me. It's Noah, I had a crush on him when I was ten. He plays football, he's actually one of the best football players on the team. I loved his bright blonde hair, but now it has turned more of a light brown colour. The hands around my waist tighten. I try to wriggle out but he pulls me back.

"Come on, you know you want me," he whispers in my ear. A shiver runs up my spine.

"Actually, I don't". I finally release myself out of his hold. I run quickly into the canteen. I slow down as I enter the room full of people having their lunch. I spot Haley sitting on her own. I quickly walk over and slide into the table, across from her.

"Hey there," Haley says smiling up at me.

"Hi," I say while looking around. My leg keeps bouncing underneath the table. Haley looks at me worriedly.

"Maya, are you ok?" I don't know, am I? I don't feel as I thought I would feel. For some reason, I hoped that getting a new look would erase the uneasiness I feel every time I leave my house. But instead, I feel worse. The attention is all on me. I'm stupid. Of course, the attention would be all on me, I go to secondary school with a load of horny guys, what was I thinking?

"I think this was a bad idea," I say softly, looking at the table with my hands around my head.

"What was?"

"This makeover." I look up at her, but my focus continues to the background, where a bunch of guys are staring right at me. "God, I'm so stupid." And with that, I stand up and walk out of the canteen.

I keep running. The girls bathroom in my view. I slow down to a fast walk. I feel a hand clamp down on my arm and before I can react, I get hauled into a dark classroom. I pull my arm but the grip only tightens.

"What the fuck let go of me," I say.

"Not a chance." I feel lips instantly smash into my own. I push away, but the guy's arms hold me tight in my place. My head starts to spin. I feel the darkness coming for me. Suddenly, my lips are bare. I open my eyes and there's a dark haired guy on top of another guy. I find the light switch and turn it on. I gasp at the sight in front of me. Noah's on the ground getting beat up by the mysterious guy. I do not move, instead, I stare at the fight that's taken place. Noah's lips are bleeding. The blood oozing from his mouth onto the floor. Finally, the dark haired guy lets Noah go. He stands up and faces me. Our eyes meet. My breathing stops for one second. It's Jax.

Noah gets up and runs out the door. I stay in my place, not taking my eyes off Jax. He doesn't move either. As we stare into each other, my heart triples its speed. I finally turn away. My hands are shaking. This was so stupid. I did this. It's my fault. I led Noah on. I shouldn't have worn this dress, this stupid dress. I'm pacing the room now. Unable to stay still. I hate this. All of this. I'm hit suddenly with the memories of the past. I drop down to the ground. I feel a heavy hand on my shoulder. I pull away abruptly. I look up, my vision blurred, but I can make out Jax's figure looming over me. I start to shake violently. I can't help it. I'm useless. I can't even control my own body. I feel pain but yet numb. My mind's foggy. The rooms foggy. I can feel my heart going wild in my chest.

I hear my name, it's so soft. I can barely make it out. I'm dying. God is calling my name.

"Open your eyes." There I hear a voice. I do what's instructed. I open my eyes. Jax is looking straight at me with worried eyes. I burst out crying suddenly. Unintentionally, I start crawling to Jax and I grab onto him. I feel arms go around my body as I sit on him, while he's sitting on the floor. I take a clump of his shirt into my fists as I cry out all my pain and frustration.

-----------------

Thanks for reading xx

Vote & Comment