Taivon: Book Three of the Cantrell Brothers Series

Chapter Twenty-Nine

Taivon looked down the hallway, wishing he could crawl back under the covers and hold Alix to him. But, like all the other days, he couldn't. His muscles didn't ache too much, but there was a slight pull that reminded him of how he'd done his workout this morning, after having forced himself out of bed.

Maybe he'd push his cardio and weights to a different, later time. He stored that thought in the back of his head and downed the rest of his skim milk. His breakfast had consisted of an egg white omelet, asparagus, and a protein shake made with water.

Alix had brought microwavable popcorn over last night, but it'd been the kind that was soaked with that fattening butter substitute, so he'd stuck to eating brown rice and two bananas. Even now, he thought about how the popcorn had smelled, how incredible her body had felt against his, and how he could've stayed next to her. If he hadn't had to stick to his daily regimen.

A bite of that popcorn later tonight. Maybe after asking her to bring some more over, or going to her house for the night. It'd be so easy. Popcorn, and then stir up some noodles with something fattening like cheese. Ritz crackers.

Taivon shook his head, because he knew that if he even had one thing that he deemed “bad,” it would turn into this absolute catastrophe in which he would consume everything. And then he'd feel like complete shit tomorrow.

With one last glance back down the hallway, he left the house and went to work. It was quiet as he drove. He was starting to notice that without Alix around, everything seemed a little bit more quiet. A little more solemn, without her hand in his or her smile directed at him.

There were cars already parked in the lot. Taivon eased his Acura next to an older, beat up Jeep and walked to the ranger station. There weren't a lot of other park rangers there, but it didn't matter. They didn't wave at him, anyway.

He wanted to change that.

A wave, even a head nod, or one of those weird signs of greeting where people made their hands look like guns and said “aye.” Taivon would've taken any of it. But he'd ruined that awhile ago. More than half of them had been on the receiving end of his never-ending frustration and anger, the results of his hopelessness.

From Cindy, the tour manager, who was currently pressed against a wall with a few others to keep from the wind to Bryan Marshalings who was getting out of his car, Taivon had been nasty to a lot of them. It wasn't even really yelling that ticked people off, but rather, his cold unresponsiveness that had turned them all away.

He tried not to feel guilty about it, but as he got closer and closer to the ranger station – by Mary and her friends – he found himself wanting to apologize or at least say something. As he got closer, Taivon felt his palms begin to sweat and his throat begin to clog.

She was right there, talking with another ranger Paul Hillt. He'd never yelled at Paul, but he'd never talked with the guy either. Paul had waved to him once. Taivon had stared straight ahead, eyes hard, and had ignored him.

Just try, he told himself. Just say “hi.” Something simple like that. Something you can actually say without making a fool of yourself.

Taking a deep breath, Taivon turned towards the group. They hadn't noticed him, all listening as Paul said something or other, gesturing with big hands and lanky arms.

“I swear.” Taivon heard Paul say. “I'd never seen anything like it. This guy was...”

Taivon wiped a sweaty hand down his pants leg. Mary turned her head towards him then, her expression blank, but he looked away immediately. His gaze fixated on his boots, and then, he walked into the ranger station, breathing out a sigh of something that wasn't relief but not disappointment either.