Warm Waters [Jughead x Archie] Vol 2

₀₈.

I was back where it all started. Knee deep in the lake that helped me and Archie reconnect. The water was colder that day. The grey clouds laid over the canvas of the sky; casting a shadow over the small town named Riverdale. The water was rocky as the wind blew in my face; threatening to blow my beanie off any moment. No soul was in sight except for Veronica who was calling my name a distance from the shoreline.

"Jug! Please come back, we can talk about this!" She said in a shaky tone from the shore. Concern laced her voice like she was going to cry. She didn't go in after me becuase she didnt want to ruin her light washed jeans. But I didn't listen. I didn't at all. In fact I just walked further and further into the water. I was tired of people wanting to talk it out when nothing good comes out of it.

I too was wearing my black skinny jeans and my favorite skull shirt but I didn't care that they were getting ruined. It didn't matter to me anymore. Not when I have been lied to all this year. Just yesterday I was getting a change of heart for Archie, maybe I didn't love him?

But once Archie told me everything, and practically said this was a big mistake and he wants to stay in Riverdale broke my heart. But he didnt want to be with me.
'I'd rather be in Riverdale as your friend rather than your boyfriend. I don't want you to get picked on when we're here. You don't deserve it.'

But what shocked me the most was Archie still hadn't caught on that I loved him. I really loved him. And that I could live in the humiliation if it meant to be with him. Reggie wasn't going to change it. Sure as hell not Veronica that was yelling at me from the dry sand. Not even Betty who would throw trantrumps and get herself into situations where she has to be hospitalized. Not anyone from our school that judge me for liking him. Not my disappointed father. Hell, not even Archie's father that shunned him even more than mine. Not my mother or Jellybean or God could change how I felt about Archie and how he felt about me. He'd always been hesitant with me. Always second guessing. Always running away from me. And defiently always leaving me behind.
'Jug' he said sweetly to me. 'Maybe I'm still confused about my sexuality. You defiently make me confused. But we haven't made love love yet so I can't tell what I want. I don't want you to get invested so much in me that I'll feel even worse about it. My dad is pissed at me for not telling him in the first place. Maybe we should forget about it. Not forget about our friendship but all the stupid stuff we did. I hope you don't think it was actually stupid because I genuinely enjoyed every moment I don't know why I said it like that. If you really want Reggie you can have him I don't want to stop you from falling in love with someone. I know he likes you a lot. I actually knew for a while. He told me freshman year. And that's when I started taking to you more, to became your friend. I wanted to make Reggie become closer to you but I stupidly got involved. He deserves a better bestfriend. I was trying to see what was so good about you because he couldn't stop talking about you whenever we were alone. That's why I chose you to be my partner for the paper but it took a turn for the worst. Reggie was my bestfriend I can't keep letting him down. And when he said he knew about the video I knew I was going to be dead. I had to get out of there or he wouldn't fucking stop torture me, I knew that's what was going to happen so before he could get the chance I left. Even when he was just lying and later on found out, I was still glad I left. I took you away from him and I shouldn't have. And all this time I was jealous and I couldn't just leave you that easily because of  him... I didn't want him to get the satisfaction that he shook me to the core. No way. I came back just to take you away from him again. Don't get me wrong, I do like you and I liked being with you but I don't want to torture him or you any longer. And I don't want him to treat you like trash and I don't want him to treat me like trash. And I don't want you to see me second guessing this relationship any longer. Reggie will give you everything I couldn't, I'm not saying this just to say this but you guys would be a better couple than we ever could. But I still want you in my life if that's okay.'

By then I was back deep in the water. I wasn't on Archie's porch, listening to him ramble about all this nonsense. I wasn't in the rain anymore listening to the droplets hit the ground hard just like my heart was doing in that moment.

  "Just drown already." I whispered to myself as I stood in the water. Letting the waves push me around like everything else in my life did. How stupid was I to think something right in my life could happen. The whole time Archie didn't text me back he was at his father's contemplating on whether he should break it off.

I shouldn't be with someone who seconds guesses everything that has to do with me. But I couldn't help how my heart felt. My heart felt pretty broken. I felt hollow just like the day Archie left in the first place.

You can tell me I'm over reacting but heartbreak makes you do and feel stupid stuff that doesn't even compare to being picked on everyday. Because the person who broke your heart you knew, you trusted, and you tried to give them your all. But some things just don't work out. In my case it never works out.

Veronica still screamed from the shore. Turning back I could see tears lacing her cheeks as they shined though the sun wasn't visible.

I couldn't just kill myself in front of someone like that. No matter how broken I felt it was best to be alone than in front of someone. I didn't want to scar her for life, I didn't want to ruin her.

With that I turned back to her. Splashing through the water and making my way to the shore. She gasps as I finally make it ankle length in the water she rushes out without thinking about her jeans and latches onto me. Crying into the crook of my neck.

"Jug, don't ever do that to me again!" She screamed at me with anger and sorrow.

She finally let's go and her puffy dark eyes look at me with horror as I stare back at her blankly; not feeling one single emotion besides guilt.

I began to discard my wet clothes on the sand carefully as to not ruin my clothes more than I had already done. I only left my boxers on and sat in the grass rather than the sand because I didn't want it to stick to my wet skin.

Veronica followed me to the grass and shoved herself at me. Forcing me to hold her more as she cried in my arms at my previous actions.

I'll do it when I'm alone.